Because You Loved Me
by Fan81981
Summary: Takes place after “A Breed Apart”. Emma is having problems dealing with Shalimar and Brennan’s relationship. An accident causes her to overload her powers. COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Title: "Because You Loved Me" (anyone with a better idea for a title please email me) Author: fan81981 Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Mutant X characters (unfortunately) and the song title is belongs to Celion Dion, I think. Please don't sue me, this is my first fanfic. Rating: PG (It might get worse later) Couple: Take a wild guess! Summary: Takes place after "A Breed Apart". Emma is having problems dealing with Shalimar and Brennan's relationship. An accident causes her to overload her powers. Read more to see what actually happens  
  
Emma tried to concentrate, tried to block out the laughter that threatened to rip into her at any moment. A week after the attack and she still wasn't able to fully control her powers. Everyone else seemed to have adjusted; everyone else seemed to be happy with their new abilities. Emma sighed, sometimes life just didn't seem fair to her. Still, there was no point feeling sorry for herself. She closed her eyes and tried once again.  
  
Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. How could she concentrate when in the next room, Shalimar and Brennan were laughing at something? Though she couldn't hear what they were saying the joy and comfort they felt in each other's company was obvious. Emma gritted her teeth, she had to ignore them; she should feel happy for them, shouldn't she?  
  
Emma's thoughts drifted back to that day, after they had confronted Gabriel. Shalimar and Brennan had almost kissed! She still could not believe it, if she hadn't called out to them they would have. Her Brennan would have kissed someone else! In fact, he still wanted to. Emma was acutely aware of his growing feelings for Shalimar, his desire for her. Even though Emma was not physically in his presence, she could feel him. Feel his thoughts, hopes, and fears. If she was not careful, his feelings engulfed her leaving no room for any others.  
  
He was always with her, since that very fist day they had met. She had not wanted this bond, the pain that came with it. She had lost count of the times she had tired to sever the connection, push him out of her mind or at the very least relegate him to some hidden corner where she wouldn't have to think about him. But nothing worked, and now she didn't want it to work. Emma needed Brennan, if only to block out the countless other voices that assailed her. She needed him to protect her from the insanity that threatened her everyday. At least, she was used to his mind. At least, she knew he wouldn't hurt her. Even if her didn't realise it, he was necessary for her.  
  
Now all that has changed, Brennan was with Shalimar now. Or would soon be. Emma was no fool; she saw the way they looked at each other. He had never looked at her like that. They were friends no doubt, but he had never melted when he looked at her. And he never would, Emma told herself. She had to move on, she would survive. She would! She would rejoice in her friends' happiness. She would get rid of Brennan from her thoughts even if it killed her.  
  
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Shalimar laughed as Brennan pulled a face at her. They were sitting on her bed having a very serious conversation on whether peanut butter could be eaten with jelly or not. Brennan was of the opinion that it was sacrilege not to, while the feral Shalimar wasn't really interested. Personally, she was a meat person, especially when it was fresh and rare. But . . anything to spend time with Brennan.  
  
"Are you listening to me?" Brennan demanded.  
  
Shalimar nodded absently, not really hearing what he said. She had just noticed that Brennan had the most adorable smile she had ever seen. In fact, he had the most adorable everything she had ever seen.  
  
Brennan grinned, he didn't know why Shalimar had such a contended but smug expression on her face, but he liked it. "You look very silly right now, do you realise that?"  
  
"Wha . . .? I look SILLY! How dare you?" With that, Shalimar jumped on top of Brennan. How dare he call her silly, and more importantly how dare he interrupt her when she was contemplating how cute he was!  
  
For a minute or two they playfully tussled with each other, first tickling then (at least in Shalimar's case) playfully biting. Brennan tried to apologise but Shalimar was in no mood to listen. Finally, settling on top of him she said, "You are going to pay. No-one calls me silly and gets away with it." Normally, those words out of Shalimar's mouth would have frightened Brennan, but not now, considering the fact that she was smiling, like a contented cat.  
  
Before he could come with any answer at all, Shalimar bent down and kissed him. For a second, Brennan was too surprised to respond - this beautiful, exciting creature was kissing him. But, of his own violation, his arms came up to pull her closer and deepen the kiss. This felt good, this felt right.  
  
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This felt good, this felt right.  
  
That thought slammed into Emma, robbing her of breath and thought. For a moment, she couldn't think and then the pain hit her. Brennan was kissing Shalimar, he was kissing another woman. He was happy in the arms of another woman.  
  
The pain, the loss was unbearable. Emma's knees buckled and she fell to the floor, no longer capable of standing on her feet. She curled up into a ball, trying to push the joy Brennan felt out of her mind, trying to deny the pain it caused her.  
  
She couldn't take this, every second that Brennan kissed Shalimar, another part of Emma died. She had to break the connection, and she had to break it. Whimpering with pain, she gathered all of her remaining strength and pushed Brennan out of her mind.  
  
For a moment, something rebelled at this desecration. Whether it was some small part of her that didn't want to give up whatever connection she had with Brennan, or some hidden part of him, Emma didn't know. All she knew, for one sweet moment, was that he was out of her head. She could not longer sense Brennan and Shalimar kissing.  
  
And then, all hell broke loose. The walls that Emma had constructed around her to keep the rest of the world out, crumbled like dry sand. She no longer had the strength to keep the rest of the world out. All her reserves had been spent trying to break her bond with Brennan. Now, nothing was left, and Emma was at the mercy of thousands of emotions.  
  
Emma thrashed about on the floor as her mind was ravaged be the voices of millions. For a split second, a labouring woman's pain hit her, only to be inundated by the pain of a man burying his wife. The joy of first love, the betrayal of another, the peace of companionship and the deceit of life - all these emotions buffeted her. Her mind lay defenceless against these attacks.  
  
What had she done?  
  
Brennan . . . Brennan  
  
As a new wave of sensations hit her, Emma succumbed to the pain and lost consciousness.  
  
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	2. Chapter 2

* ~ This felt good, this felt right. ~*  
  
Shalimar's perfume . . . (scent?) filled his head. "You taste good."  
  
Shalimar smiled, "So do you, even if you eat peanut butter. In fact, . . . Brennan what's wrong?!"  
  
Brennan sat up, forcing Shalimar to get off him. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He might not be a telempath like Emma, but his instincts screamed at him that something was wrong. It felt like someone had torn out an important part of him. Something was missing and it hurt. Brennan didn't like it, but he didn't know what was wrong.  
  
"Are you alright? Brennan, talk to me."  
  
"Oh, Shalimar . . . yeah, I'm . . . fine."  
  
"You don't look 'fine' to me. Your face has gone pale and . . . your hands are trembling"  
  
"No, really Shalimar. I'm fine . . . It's just a headache. That's all."  
  
"Headache? You were fine a minute ago." Shalimar worriedly looked at Brennan. He didn't seem fine to her. He looked like someone had hit him, hard. Brennan got up from the bed; he had to get out of here.  
  
"Look, Shalimar. I'm sorry. I don't think I am feeling too well right now. I . . ."  
  
*~ Brennan . . . Brennan ~*  
  
"Oh my God, . . . Emma"  
  
"Brennan . . . What's going on?" Shalimar hissed in shock as he turned to face her. It was contorted in pain.  
  
"I . . . I don't . . ." Brennan trailed off. How could he explain what had just happened when he didn't understand himself. "Emma . . . she's in a lot of pain . . . so much pain." Brennan felt himself shudder. Why did he know this? Why did he feel Emma's pain?  
  
"I have to help her. She's . . . she's . . ." Brennan could not continue. He rushed out of Shalimar's room, leaving her staring at the space he was just standing in. She thought for a second and then jumped up to follow him.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Emma, open the door. Emma!" Brennan beat the door, hoping against hope that he was mistaken. "Emma, for God's sake, please open the door." She had to be all right, he had to be overreacting.  
  
"Brennan, what's going on? What's wrong with Emma?" Shalimar demanded from behind him.  
  
"I don't know. She's not answering the door."  
  
"She could be sleeping?"  
  
"Not even Emma could sleep through the noise I just made." Brennan tried to lighten the situation but the joke sounded flat to him, even to him.  
  
Something was wrong and he knew it. When he thought of Emma, he usually received some sort of response, a feeling of association. It was as if she acknowledged that he was thinking of her. Now he felt nothing, and that could only mean that she was in trouble.  
  
"Adam, can you give me the override code to Emma's door?" Brennan asked into his com-link.  
  
Sure, but what is wrong?"  
  
Brennan was getting tired of answering this question. He clenched his teeth and almost spat out, "I . . . DON'T . . . KNOW. But I think Emma may be in trouble."  
  
'Okay . . . wait a moment and I will open the lock from here . . .. There!"  
  
With that the door slid open and Brennan rushed in, only to be greeted by the sight of Emma lying senseless on the floor. He worriedly bent down. Maybe he was overreacting. He gently shook her, "Emma, are you alright?" There was no reaction; she didn't even stir at his touch. He tried shaking her harder, but still there was no response.  
  
He looked up to see Shalimar hovering over him, plainly anxious about her friend. "I can't wake her up Shal." Brennan whispered.  
  
"Adam, Emma seems to have fainted."  
  
"Are there any injuries of any sort?" Adam's disembodied voice asked.  
  
Shalimar bent down next to Brennan to make sure. Emma looked pale and she had obviously been crying. Other than that, she looked fine, unharmed.  
  
"No, I don't think so. I can see any obvious injury."  
  
Okay, bring her to the lab and we'll check her out" Adam kept his voice calm, not wanted to aggravate the situation.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan, Shalimar, and Jesse waited anxiously as Adam examined a still unconscious Emma. It had been two hours since Brennan and Shalimar had found Emma had still not stirred. Adam had put Emma through many tests, and as the rest of the team watched, Adam continued to do so. They were not encouraged by the fact that as time passed the frown on his face deepened.  
  
Finally, he walked out of the lab, head down, an intense frown on his face.  
  
"Is she going to be alright?" Shalimar asked before anyone could say anything.  
  
"I don't know. I can't find anything wrong with her."  
  
"What do you mean you can't find anything wrong with her?! There is obviously something very wrong with her!"  
  
"Calm down Shalimar, I know Adam is doing everything he can." Jesse tried to pacify the irate feral, with little success. She just turned and growled warningly at him. She objectively knew that Adam was working as hard as he could, but Jesse had not seen Emma lying on the floor - senseless and obviously having been in pain.  
  
Throughout this exchange, Brennan remained silent, all his attention concentrated on the still form of his friend. She looked so helpless lying on the examination table. If he hadn't found her . . . but Brennan quickly put that thought out of his mind. Nothing was going to happen to Emma, he would make sure of it. *~ Hang in there Emma, I'm here. I'm here. ~*  
  
" . . . Brennan. Brennan!"  
  
"Wha . . .? Yeah, Adam. Sorry, I wasn't listening." Brennan ran a hand through his hair and tried to concentrate on what the older man was saying.  
  
"So as I was saying, I can't find anything wrong with her. Or more correctly, I can't find anything physically wrong with her." Adam fell silent, not sure how to continue.  
  
"So . . . ?" Jesse quietly prompted.  
  
"So . . ." For a minute Adam didn't reply. "I did find unusually high brain activity. Now because Emma is psionic her brain activity is higher than normal for most other people, but this seems excessive even for her. My guess is, and this is only a guess, is that she blacked out because her brain 'overloaded'." Adam shrugged helplessly, that was the closest he could get to explaining what had happened.  
  
"Is that what you felt Brennan?" Shalimar turned and asked him, when it seemed clear that Adam could add nothing else.  
  
Brennan hesitated for a minute; he was not comfortable with talking about what had happened. That sense of loss was still with him and he was not sure why. He didn't want admit the possibility that it might have something to do with Emma. *~ I'm just concerned about her. That is all. She must have been in pain and randomly called out to me. That is all. That has to be all! ~*  
  
Brennan looked at Shalimar and smiled. At least he understood what he felt for this woman. *~ I hope. ~* "Yeah, she called out like she was in pain. That is how I knew something was wrong."  
  
Shalimar looked at Brennan. He was not telling her something. His concern for Emma was palpable and it was very plausible that he had heard he subliminal cry for help. That didn't explain why he had backed away in pain when they were kissing. Something had happened before he heard Emma, she was sure of it. And she WAS going to find out, but later. Later, when her best friend was better. She turned to watch Emma lying on the table. How could someone so strong and vibrant in life look so weak?  
  
"So now what?" she asked  
  
"We wait and see. That is all we can do!" Adam turned to look at Emma as well. "And pray."  
  
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	3. Chapter 3

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma woke up, and found herself lying in the lab, alone. Why wasn't she in her room? Why was she here? What happened? She tried to lift herself up from the bed. It was a mistake. He body immediately objected and Emma fell back. Gasping for breath, she tried to gather her wits. *~ What had happened? ~*  
  
That too was a mistake.  
  
Obeying her call, memories obligingly came to the fore. They came in a flood, for an instant crushing Emma under their impact. All those people, their pain! So much pain! Emma didn't think she would ever forget their pain. Or, as she wryly thought, *~survive if I don't control my mind. ~*  
  
And then, any scrap of control that she had gained over her was wiped out. She remembered what had caused all this trouble in the first place. Brennan had kissed Shalimar! Emma took a deep breath, she mustn't think of that. She couldn't think of Brennan. If she valued her sanity, she must close her mind to him. Not think of him at all. *~ Yeah, right. Like that's very simple. ~*  
  
Taking a deep breath, she tried to get out of bed again. She would be strong, let anyone say otherwise. She almost managed to get out of bed but then her strength failed her. Knees buckling, she collapsed to the floor. For a moment, she lay there without moving, thinking about what to do next.  
  
At that very moment, Jesse came in to check up on her. "Oh my God! Emma, what are you doing out of bed?"  
  
"Admiring the view from the floor. It's lovely here, did you know that?" came the quick rejoinder.  
  
Jesse grinned; at least there was no doubt that Emma's was in perfect working order. *~ If you called that 'fine'. ~*  
  
"I heard that! I AM fine! . . . Now could you please help me get up?"  
  
"Eh? I didn't say anything. Did you hear something?" *~ Emma can't hear what I am saying. Right? ~*  
  
"Jesse . . . Some help please" Emma called from the floor  
  
"Oh yeah, right" Jesse picked up Emma and she winced slightly at his touch. Jesse looked at her and deposited her back onto the bed. Emma wasn't even trying but she could feel the concern and slight guilt emanating from Jesse.  
  
"You really didn't hurt me. It's just that the floor isn't as comfortable as I thought." Emma grinned at him. He grinned back; it was good to have her back. *~ Good to have you back. Thought we might have lost you. Good to have . . . ~*  
  
"How long have I been unconscious?" Emma quickly asked. Anything to get him to speak, think of something else. Why could she hear him? She wasn't using her powers,  
  
"Two days. We were really worried about you." *~ So worried. We almost thought we lost you. You didn't wake up. We didn't know what was wrong with you. . ."  
  
"Jesse, slow down. What do mean you didn't know what was wrong with me?" Emma shook her head, trying to make sense of what she was hearing.  
  
"How did you . . .? Well . . . Adam said that there was nothing physically wrong with you. But you still didn't wake up. We didn't know what to do." *~ I was afraid that you would never wake up. You looked so lost, so fragile. ~*  
  
Emma sharply looked up at Jesse; she shouldn't be able to sense him. To sense such a deep layer of his thought she should have been concentrating her powers upon him. What was happening to her? Her mind was so open, Emma paled at the memory of what happened last time her mind was this powerless.  
  
Jesse watched all the colour drain out of her face. For a moment, he thought she was going to have a relapse.  
  
"Adam come quick, Emma's awake, but I think that she's going to faint again."  
  
"No Jesse, don't call him. No, Jesse . . ." Emma did not continue Jesse was obviously not listening. She whispered, too softly for him to hear, "Not another person, already too many people . . ."  
  
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"Well, Emma, I really don't know what is wrong with you. You vital signs all check out. According to the tests, you should be in perfect health. And it will be an understatement if I say you're not well. So do you want to tell me what's going on?"  
  
Emma swallowed, how could she explain something she was struggling to understand herself. How did she explain to him that his presence was smothering her? That it was painful being around him, to be around anyone? How did she say all of that when she knew it would hurt him, when she knew that he would not understand?  
  
"I . . . I don't know Adam. I'm just tired. Maybe I'll feel better after I get some sleep."  
  
Adam nodded, not pursuing the matter. *~ What are you not telling me Emma? What is bothering you? Let me help you. ~*  
  
"Please, Adam! I need some rest. Some time on my own. I promise everything will be all right." *~ I have to find some way to stop hearing all of you. It is driving me insane. ~*  
  
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It was getting better, it was definitely getting better, Emma thought. A week of hiding out in her room, and she could almost stand to be in the same room with a few people. However, she didn't try to push herself too far, too fast. Ten or fifteen minutes at a time and then her head started to spin and she would have to retreat to her room again. She knew her behaviour was puzzling and hurting her friends, which hurt her even more in return.  
  
Emma sighed; it was so difficult getting through the day sometimes. It was as if she was a child learning to walk again, except that this time there was no comforting mother to pick her up and kiss her tears away. This time she had no one to help her; no one to show her how to cope.  
  
Thank God for small mercies though, Emma thought sardonically. At least, she could talk to her friends without the whole world intruding. For now, she had to be thankful that she could block out some thoughts, especially if she tried hard. Maybe in a few days she would be able to face Shalimar and her good-natured concerned without the thought of Brennan stripping her raw. *~ Brennan . . . Brennan ~*  
  
As soon as that door threatened to open, Emma forcefully slammed it shut. She knew she was not ready to face THAT part of her life yet. He was one person she had been unable to face, even for a second. The one time he had tried to see her, she had pretended to be asleep. After that, he had not tried to see her again. For that she was grateful to him, maybe he understood what she was going through.  
  
Of course, this didn't stop her from being spitting mad at him as well. Did he care so little about her that he didn't try to see her?!! *~ No, I will not think of him. It's good that I haven't seen him. ~* Just to make sure that she had started staying up late at night, when everyone was asleep, when even Shalimar turned to her soft bed. Sanctuary was completely empty, silent, no one stirring. It gave Emma a sense of peace, when everyone was asleep she was not bombarded by their feelings. Nevertheless, she could still sense them, her family. Times like these gave her such joy - a sense of connection without the pain.  
  
Emma smiled, if there were more times like these she could almost bring herself to believe that the pain was all worth it. She sat down on the couch with the sandwich; she had stopped eating dinner with the rest of Mutant X because it was too stressful. She missed it sometimes, the laughter, the camaraderie but she knew it was better this way. She was so tired; sleep had become a precious commodity, coming in fits and spurts if at all. She decided to just rest her eyes for minute; she'd finish her sandwich in a minute. Curling up in a ball, Emma let sleep overtake her.  
  
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	4. Chapter 4

Thank you fro all the reviews, I am trying to keep all the different responses in mind. I did make an adjustment in the font. I hope this is easier to read. As for Emma's powers . . . ah, well I know I am taking certain liberties with her. Maybe the 'overloading' caused her powers to become sort of telepathic? Sound plausible? As for the couple, I could make it go either way so please keep sending in the reviews. I do have a question, a little philosophical but please bear with me . . . What is your concept of love? Can 2 people share an intense connection and still only be friends? Trust me, your answers will help the story.  
  
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Brennan stood silently in the shadow, arms folded across the chest. He didn't know how long he had been standing there, watching Emma sleep. She looked so peaceful and comfortable. Almost like the old, cheerful Emma he knew. In sleep her delicate faced looked young and vulnerable. Her hair, slightly falling on her face, just highlighted the porcelain quality of her skin. *~ My Emma. Back to normal. ~*  
  
If he didn't look too intimately at her, he could almost believe that lie. All he had to do was avoid looking at her foetal posture, avoid looking at the dark circles under her eyes. All he had to do was avoid noticing how tired and withdrawn she seemed in the few rare instances that he saw her. Simple!  
  
Brennan moved a little nearer to the couch, not too close but close enough to get a better look at the sleeping girl. She looked a little more drawn than usual, if that was possible. Under his intense scrutiny, Emma stirred a little. With a little sob, she turned without waking up, effectively hiding her face from Brennan's view. Maybe, just maybe he should wake her to see if she was all right?!  
  
*~ No!!! NO! I'll have to talk to her! I'll have to look at her . . . ~* He would have to look into those blue eyes and see the pain she tried so unsuccessfully to hide. He couldn't handle that. He didn't understand why this should be so, but he couldn't deal with Emma's pain. He should take a page from the rest of the team and be there for her, be a friend in her hour of need. Nevertheless, he couldn't - maybe that made him a coward, but whatever was happening to Emma was hurting him too. And he didn't like it, not one bit.  
  
Sometimes, he got up in the morning and thought that everything was okay; today everything would get back to normal. Then Emma would not show up for breakfast and everyone would pretend that she was just sleeping in. The forced smiles, the phoney laughter grated on Brennan's nerves. No one talked about Emma for the rest of the day, dancing around the subject as if it was a nervous bull. No one talked directly to her either, preferring to give her 'time' *~ One more day like that and I will go crazy. ~* And despite his frustration with the situation he did nothing.  
  
All he did, all he could do, was to avoid her. He was glad when she started staying up late in the night. *~ Yes I AM glad. I don't have to be around her. She can handle it on her own. It's for the best. ~* Despite the avowal, sometimes he found himself matching her waking patterns, *~ Just to make sure that she was safe. ~* Like today. And if he was lucky, he could look his fill without disturbing her. Like today.  
  
Brennan moved even closer, now right next to the couch. She looked so serene, so oblivious to the world. He just stood there looking at her, not understanding why he felt this need to be here, as well as this fear of being close to her. She made him feel helpless, she made him feel worthless. Despite all of that, despite the anger he felt at her, for now he was happy just standing there, looking at her. For a moment, he could even ignore that sense of loss that was with him seemingly permanently.  
  
As if sensing the peace around her, Emma slowly woke up. For a minute, it didn't register to her that Brennan was standing on top of her. Still a bit groggy from her nap, she smiled up him, running her fingers through her hair to get them in some semblance of order.  
  
Brennan looked down at her, willing that small smile to grow. *~ You have such a beautiful smile. So unlike Shalimar's but still so beautiful. ~*  
  
"Get away from me!" Emma spat out at him. How could he compare her to Shalimar? How could he hurt her so much? She jumped up from the couch and tried to shoulder herself past Brennan, but he did not move.  
  
"G-E-T O-U-T OF M-Y WAY!" Emma almost screamed. Brennan recoiled at the violence in her voice but failed to notice the hurt behind it. His anger rose to match hers. How dare she speak to him like that? She had no right.  
  
Emma shook her head, Brennan's anger slicing through her defences like a hot knife. She had to get out of here. She tried to move past Brennan again, but this time he caught her arm, successfully pinning her to the spot she stood on.  
  
"What is wrong with you? Why are you behaving like this?" *~Why are you behaving like a bitch?! ~*  
  
"Let go of my arm. I don't want to talk to you." Emma tried to free her arm  
  
"Well, you're going to anyway. How long do you except to mope around and expect us to take it?" Brennan tightened his grip on her arm. He was going to have it out with her, now, and damn the consequences.  
  
"I am not moping. You just don't understand." Emma was getting frantic now; she could feel her losing control of her powers.  
  
"Then make me 'understand'. Why are you doing this to all of us?" *~ Why are you doing this to me? Don't you care about what happens to me anymore? ~*  
  
"Brennan . . . please. You're hurting me." Emma whispered. She managed to restrain herself from saying anymore, but the damage was done. Brennan felt sick, he let go of her arm but she made no move to leave him. He had no doubt that Emma was telling the truth, and she meant more than her arm.  
  
He looked at Emma, not sure how to continue. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, but for what he didn't know. He realized that he would apologise for anything, no matter if it was his fault or not, as long as it made Emma feel better.  
  
Whereas Brennan's anger had fuelled her, his sympathy, and concern were her undoing. His anger she could handle, she could use it to shield herself. But this soft, caring Brennan she could not ignore. She was drowning in him and she couldn't stop herself.  
  
Brennan watched in horror as first one tear slid down her cheek only to be followed by another. He gently brushed those tears off her face, shocked at what he had done to her. She shuddered at his touch; she couldn't take it anymore. Without another word, she ran towards her room.  
  
Brennan heard the door shut, leaving him alone. He looked down at his fingers; Emma's tears still nestled in his palm. They burned him, and he didn't understand why.  
  
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As the door closed behind Emma, she let her knees give way and slid onto the floor. She could still feel Brennan standing there; she could still feel his pain and helplessness. *~ I didn't mean to hurt you Brennan. I am sorry. Please forgive me, please forgive me, please . . . ~* Emma chanted to herself.  
  
Why didn't he hate her? Why didn't he get angry with her? Those emotions she could eventually deal with, this caring Brennan on the other hand would destroy her.  
  
She curled up, digging her knees into her stomach as if physical pain would stop the mental anguish. She slowly rocked herself back and forth, trying to forget what had happened, trying to rebuild the walls she had tried so hard to construct. Tears fell unheeded from her eyes, everything was becoming hazy, but Emma didn't bother to wipe them away. They were her penance for the distress she had caused. Brennan was right; she was being selfish. She had hurt the very people she loved most in the world. She had pushed Brennan away when all he had tried to do was help her. She had hurt him! She was a bitch.  
  
As Brennan's despair slammed into her, again, and again, and then once more for good measure, Emma arched her back and silently screamed. Her body couldn't take much more of this punishment. Neither could Emma break the union they shared. She had tried, and thought she had succeeded. She deluded herself into thinking that she was better; if she wanted to, she could keep unwanted sensations out of her mind. Tonight had proved how wrong she was. A few minutes with Brennan had stripped her bare. Unknowingly he tore into all her defenceless, leaving behind a pitiful ruin. Why was it so easy for him? Why did he get past her barriers like they didn't exist? *~ WHY? Why with you Brennan? ~*  
  
This thought kept playing in her mind as Emma tried to salvage something, anything that Brennan might have left. Deep into the night that thought kept playing through her mind.  
  
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	5. Chapter 5

Okay, personally I am an E/B fan. However, I WILL seriously think about ALL the different ways you want the story to go. Do keep reviewing, especially if you think it is becoming a bit too sentimental. x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
The next morning, Shalimar found Brennan sprawled on the couch. His head was cradled on his arm and he looked so peaceful that Shalimar hated to disturb him. She bent over him, gently shaking him. He shifted, but didn't get up. Shalimar moved in a little closer to look at his face. His cheeks seemed smudged with something that suspiciously looked like . . . *~ tears? ~* She softly wiped his cheeks. Yes, these were tears. Why had Brennan been crying? *~ He must be more worried about Emma than I thought. Poor darling. ~* She shook him again, a little more roughly this time.  
  
"Wha . . .? Shalimar, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Waking you up silly. You must have fallen asleep on the couch. Are you alright?"  
  
Brennan nodded yes, not wanting to talk about last night.  
  
"You sure?" Shalimar tenderly prodded. Brennan looked at her and nodded once again, smiling at her. It was so much easier to be around Shalimar, she didn't accuse him or make him feel unwanted. She would not hurt him, ever. Shalimar almost blushed under his intense scrutiny, not really understanding what had prompted it.  
  
"Hey what do you have in your hand?" Brennan looked blankly at her. "You know, in your hand? You haven't opened your fist since you got up. In fact, it was closed even while you were sleeping. Must be something important?!"  
  
Brennan looked down at his fist. He could still feel Emma's tears in it. He slowly opened it, "No nothing important. See it's nothing." *~ And yet . . . no, nothing important . . . only . . . precious. ~*  
  
Shalimar did not persist, and sure enough, Brennan's face cleared up and he smiled at her. *~ Yes, that was much better. ~*  
  
"So what are you doing up so early? I thought ferals were nocturnal."  
  
"Oh, you know, felt a bit restless, so I thought I'd kick some butt in simulations." She ginned in anticipation and Brennan felt the excitement infect him as well.  
  
"Need any company?"  
  
"Sure, it's always better when I kick some real ass." With that Shalimar swept passed him into the dojo, leaving Brennan with a very enticing view of her . . . back.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Jesse watched, greatly amused as Shalimar beat Brennan for the third time in a row. "Give it up Brennan, there is no way you can beat her."  
  
"Would you like to try?" Brennan growled.  
  
"No thank-you. I am not feeling too suicidal this morning." Jesse quickly backed off. Shalimar smirked at both of them; she was feeling much better after her morning dose of mayhem and violence. After sweeping Brennan off his feet once more, literally, she ended the session.  
  
Towelling off, she turned to face both the boys. "Now that we are all wide awake and our creative juices are nicely flowing, I have a question to pose."  
  
They looked at her expectantly. "What are we going to do about Emma? I know Adam said that we have to give her time but I don't think spending so much time on her own is healthy."  
  
"So what do you think we should do?" Jesse inquired. Brennan remained determinedly silent.  
  
"I think we should go out and have some fun. Take her mind of whatever is bothering her."  
  
"I don't think Adam will agree, especially with the Strand still out there."  
  
"We can't stop living our lives because of some maniac. Emma needs us; she needs to be cheered up. Taking her out will the perfect thing to do." And that was the end of the discussion, Shalimar had made up her mind and Jesse knew that she wasn't going to change it. Maybe she is right, he mused, Emma could do with some cheering up.  
  
Brennan did not say anything, he was more than willing to do anything to help Emma but he didn't think it was going to be as simple as taking her for a wild night out. He remembered the hurt in those blue eyes. He couldn't help but remember and immediately felt sorrow cut into him. He shook his head slightly; all it took to wound him was to think about her. He sighed. He was getting tired of the ache and the confusion.  
  
It was all Emma's fault. Somehow, he knew, the pain he was feeling was Emma's fault. And he wasn't about to let her get away with it.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma tentatively poked her head out of her room. She had missed breakfast and lunch and now her stomach was protesting vigorously. She could not hide out in her room all day otherwise she would starve. She judged that everyone would have finished dinner by now and it would be safe for her to go eat.  
  
No one was in sight so she came out of her room and quickly walked towards the kitchen, only to be accosted by the determined trio of Shalimar, Jesse, and Brennan. She contemplated running back to her room before they could say anything. But their faces showed that they were resolved to talk to her, or at least Shalimar was resolved and the other two were going along for the ride.  
  
Emma squared up her courage and decided to face them. She would face them and take whatever they had to say to her. *~ I won't run from you again. You can't hurt me anymore. ~* Famous last words  
  
"Emma, glad to see that you are awake. We are planning to go out, maybe to that new club. And we want you to come with us." Shalimar said, ignoring the almost panicked expression on Emma's face.  
  
"A club . . .? I don't think that would be a good idea."  
  
"Of course it is a good idea. It's just the thing. Good music, maybe a few good men. What more could a woman ask for?"  
  
"What about the Strand? I don't think Adam would think it is a good idea to go out." Emma was grasping at straws now. The idea of being around such a mass of humanity was frightening.  
  
"Adam says its fine. You do need to get out more Emma." Jesse clarified.  
  
"I . . . I really can't . . . I . . . " What could she say?  
  
"It's us you don't want to be with." Brennan quietly interjected. Emma looked at him, he really meant it. He truly believed that she was deliberately avoiding them.  
  
Brennan returned her stare for stare. *~ You don't want to be with us. You will make any excuse to avoid us, stay away from us. What enjoyment do you get from hurting us? . . . from hurting me? ~*  
  
Emma paled at the disgust in Brennan's thoughts. What had she done to deserve this; did he comprehend what he was asking of her? What right did he have to accuse her, make her feel guilty and wretched? She clenched her fists, the anger rising in her. She was tempted to take a swing at him, hurt him as much physically as he hurt her mentally.  
  
Shalimar watched Emma lose colour. She couldn't force her friend to do what she obviously didn't want. "It's okay, Em. If you don't want to come we won't force you." The love laced with sorrow in Shalimar's voice made Emma's decision for her.  
  
She would do this for her friends; she would go with them and be strong for them. She nodded and tried to look positive. She would show him that she was not playing games.  
  
"Give me ten minutes and I will be ready. Now don't leave without me." With that, Emma turned to go back into her room before anyone could see the sheer terror in her eyes.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	6. Chapter 6

I was in a bad mood and ill when I wrote this, so decided to put Emma through the ringer again. If any of you are getting bored do tell and I'll try something else next time ;) Thanks for all the reviews and please keep them coming.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
She shouldn't have come, why did she ever let her friends talk her into this. This had been a bad idea.  
  
For the hundredth time, or what felt like the hundredth time some guy passed Emma and thought, *~ Nice, I'd like to get some of that ~*, while looking straight at Emma. Emma didn't know whether to feel offended or laugh in their face. At least some men found her attractive, or if their thoughts were anything to go by, highly desirable.  
  
*~Maybe this evening was not a complete waste of time after all. Shalimar might have been right - good friends, a night out, and men, what more can a girl ask for? ~*  
  
Anyway, being in a club full of young people, mainly twenty somethings had its advantages as well. Practically everyone was young, healthy, and out for a good time. This meant that there was no despair, pain or suffering flooded the room. The worst thing was anxiousness or in a very few, jealous anger. Nothing that Emma couldn't handle, the last few days had dramatically increased her threshold of pain. *~ And the best thing, ~* Emma thought, *~ all these people drown out Brennan. ~* Now that Emma thought about it, this night was looking up.  
  
She could still hear most of the club clearly. She didn't have to try, to pick up stray thoughts or feelings. It was like standing next to high- powered speakers at a rock concert. Not necessarily unpleasant, especially if you liked the music, but certainly deafening. It was amusing in a slightly vicarious way to be able to tell what people were thinking. Much better than being emotionally skewered every night. Emma was tempted to stay here forever.  
  
A couple in the cornet caught her eye. A young boy and girl, her age she thought, obviously on their first date. Emma grinned as she caught their 'conversation'.  
  
*~ Why doesn't he kiss me already? I must have turned him off. ~*  
  
*~ I wonder if she would slap me if I kissed her? ~*  
  
Emma wondered if she should help the couple, sort of speed things up. She decided that was unquestionably the way to go. For the first time in days, she actively used her powers. Simultaneously in both minds, she projected a picture of them kissing, neither mind too averse to the suggestion. Emma turned away, satisfied with the couple's delight at the turn of events.  
  
Across the bar, some guy was watching a beautiful red head dancing. *~She seems nice. I wonder if I should go talk to her? ~*  
  
*~ Will he ever come up and talk to me? He's been staring at me all night. I wish there was some way of calling him to me. ~*  
  
Once again, Emma 'helped' out a little. Maybe she shouldn't be interfering but it felt much better than staying alone in her room. She had forgotten how good it felt to be around people.  
  
*~ I wonder where he is? I hope he'll like the dress. ~*  
  
*~ I wonder if she has a boyfriend? ~*  
  
*~ She's cute. ~*  
  
*~ I wonder if it would be too forward to introduce myself. ~*  
  
*~ Should I ask her to go steady with me now, or should I wait? ~*  
  
It was almost intoxicating, the simplicity and openness of thought around the room. It was a balm for Emma's hurt mind. She wistfully smiled; turning away from the room so that no would notice the sadness in her eyes. If only this could last.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan watched Emma closely, noticing the smile on her face, noticing the delighted sparkle in her eyes. She seemed to be enjoying herself. Shalimar was right; all Emma had needed was a night out, a time to be around new people. Perversely, that angered Brennan. He was happy that Emma was feeling better, but he couldn't help but feel bitter that it took strange guys ogling her to accomplish the task. He had noticed each and every guy that had passed staring at Emma and he had also noted that she had not seemed displeased. In fact, she seemed on the verge of laughing - laughing in encouragement.  
  
Well, if she could forget what had happened last night and have fun then so could he. He turned to watch Shalimar and Jesse dancing. They both looked like they were having fun - dancing and laughing every time some guy tried to cut in and Shalimar growled at him, very effectively scaring him off.  
  
When the number ended, they came back to rest for a minute. "Where's Emma?" Shalimar asked. Brennan nodded towards the bar where a beaming Emma sat looking at some corner or the other. "She seems a lot better. Admit it guys, my idea was a good one!" Shalimar crowed.  
  
"Yes. I was a good idea. But I thought we had come so WE could have some fun as well. Come on Shalimar, you've had enough of a break. My turn to dance with you." With that, Brennan took her arm and took her towards the dance floor. Shalimar exchanged a glance with Jesse and shrugged. As Brennan and Shalimar passed Emma, Shalimar waved but Brennan ignored her. All he wanted to do was get on the dance floor, not waste time. He impatiently tugged Shalimar's hand, "Come on, the song will finish by the time we get there." Shalimar winked in Emma's direction and obligingly hurried up.  
  
Emma watched Brennan and Shalimar weave their way amongst the crowd. Shalimar might have missed it but Emma noticed the way Brennan overlooked her. Tears threatened; she had been right the first time. She shouldn't have come. As she saw Brennan and Shalimar start to dance, she felt tears silently run down her face. She couldn't let anyone see her crying. She had to get out of here.  
  
She stumbled out of the side fire exit, with the music pumping behind her. The familiar throbbing started in her head, like a disturbing counterpoint to the music. She had to get out of her now.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	7. Chapter 7

It's a bit shorter than usual so I apologise. I was getting a little fed up with Brennan (that's what you get for writing yourself into a corner) so I decided to add a little 'twist' to the plot. A little bit of outside interference as it were. Maybe it's time that Emma got a little revenge on Brennan, no?  
  
Btw, saw the picture of Emma and Jesse from a link that a review posted. It was nice, made me think. Hmmm . . . maybe I should make this a E/J fic. What do all the E/B fans think? ;)  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma closed the door behind her, blocking the music from the club, hoping against hope to block out the thought of Brennan and Shalimar dancing together.  
  
Inside, Brennan smiled into Shalimar's eyes. She was an exciting woman, he admitted to himself. He was having fun after a long time - such a long time.  
  
He pulled Shalimar closer to him.  
  
Emma's knees buckled.  
  
Brennan put his arm around Shalimar's waist.  
  
Emma collapsed to the floor.  
  
Brennan ran his fingers through Shalimar's hair.  
  
Emma almost threw up, the pain causing her to clutch her stomach.  
  
Brennan brought Shalimar's face closer to his.  
  
Emma shuddered, as pain cleaved her body.  
  
Brennan kissed Shalimar.  
  
Emma screamed; she couldn't take it anymore. And then. . . . Nothing.  
  
Emma pushed herself from off the floor. The pain had stopped; she couldn't feel Brennan kissing Shalimar anymore. In fact, she couldn't feel anything. She was alone in her mind, and it was quiet. She couldn't feel anyone! No emotions tried to push their way into her mind.  
  
Emma hugged herself, almost delirious with joy. It had been so long that she had forgotten the comforting privacy of one's own mind. She laughed; she hadn't felt so free in a long time. She wanted to dance right there; shout out to the whole world that she couldn't hear them anymore. She was free!!  
  
*~ Broadcast any louder and the whole world will hear you anyway. ~* A wry presence commented.  
  
*~ Who are you? Where are you? ~* Emma spun around, but she couldn't see anything.  
  
*~ With you. Can't you feel me? ~* And Emma could. She had been wrong before she wasn't alone. Someone was with her in her mind. Someone was protecting her, comforting her. She had never felt such a soothing presence before. She knew, without any doubt, intuitively, that this presence wanted to help her.  
  
*~ Yes, I want to help you. Let me help you. ~*  
  
*~ Who are you? ~*  
  
*~ Someone who understands you Emma. Come to me. Let me help you. ~*  
  
*~ Yes. Help me. ~* Emma started walking away from the club. This person would help her. This person would make everything better. She had to get to . . . him, her?  
  
*~ Him. My name is . . . ~*  
  
"Emma, are you alright?" She felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around she saw Jesse apprehensively looking at her. Behind him, she could see Brennan and Shalimar.  
  
"What happened? We have been trying to get in touch with you for an hour. But you didn't answer your com-link." Jesse was getting worried; he noticed the tears on Emma's face. Her eyes were red; she had obviously been crying. He looked more carefully at her, she didn't seem unhappy. In fact, she looked radiant. Despite the tears and the dust on her outfit, she looked like she had seen a vision. Jesse didn't know what to make of it.  
  
"Emma where are you going?" he asked as she started to walk away.  
  
"Huh? Where am I going? I don't know. I just know I have to go . . ." Emma smiled at her friends and started again. Jesse caught her before she could get any further.  
  
"She's delusional or something. I think we should get her back to Sanctuary." Shalimar and Brennan nodded, a bit frightened for Emma. She was behaving very oddly.  
  
Jesse gently took Emma by the shoulders and steered her towards the Double Helix.  
  
"No Jesse, we are going the wrong way." Emma tenderly informed her friend.  
  
Jesse looked at the other two, and they both shook their heads. They had no clue about what Emma was talking about. Jesse decided to humour her, Emma was obviously ill. "No Em, THIS is the right way. Trust me."  
  
Emma looked at him with dreamy, unfocused eyes, "Of course."  
  
They bundled Emma onto the Double helix and took off for Sanctuary. Adam would figure out what was wrong with her. Emma sat silently, lost in her thoughts.  
  
*~ Let me help you. Trust me. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	8. Chapter 8

After that rather vehement response to my E/J suggestion I think I'll keep my idea to myself ;) I might not be able to post for a few days as I will be travelling. Therefore I am posting 2 chapters. Forgive me if there is any mistake, and sorry if the pace is a bit slow. I am a bit confused now how I want the story to progress (though I will say that I do have a frim couple I want. Any wants to guess?)  
  
As for the 'stranger', I will say that he is NOT a member of Mutant X. Sometimes, though you love your family, and your friends, they are too close to see the whole truth. Sometimes one need an 'outsider' to come and shake things up. This is what I want to do. Tell me if I succeeded. Enjoy.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Adam left the lab, clearly puzzled. Before Shalimar and the other patently worried boys could inundate him with questions, he held up his hand and said, "Emma's fine. Nothing happened at the club that I can tell you about, and before you ask, I don't have any theories on what she saw or felt. You'll have to ask her about that."  
  
As Adam stopped for breath, Jesse commented, "One more of the "I-don't-know stories Adam, and I'll begin to think that you were joking about your genius."  
  
Adam smiled and continued, "Despite your obvious disbelief, I will say this. Emma seems to be happy. She seemed calm and absolutely rational. Whatever happened, if anything did for that matter, it seems to have helped her. Now I know you don't want to hear this but I think you should let it be. She does not seem in any danger so there is no point in aggravating the situation."  
  
The young mutants looked at each other and privately concluded that Adam's advice was probably best. At least, they could leave it until tomorrow.  
  
"Where is Emma?" Brennan asked.  
  
"She turned in for the night, which I suggest, is the best thing for you three as well."  
  
"But . . . but . . ."  
  
"Go to BED. We will discuss this in the morning."  
  
And that was the end of the matter. Adam said goodnight and left the lab, to be followed by the rest.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
The sun streamed into Emma's room, falling on her face and bed. Emma smiled as the sunlight warmed her face and snuggled deeper into bed. She didn't want to get out of bed; she had been having the most wonderful dream. She had dreamt of a wonderful place where she had been alone. There had been no other people, no pain, no anger, nothing. It was somewhere Emma could rest and rebuild.  
  
She was surprised how much she still yearned for this place, even when she was awake. Her mind protested at having to leave; it was not ready for real life to intrude into its calm. Unfortunately, Emma had to get up, her stomach was grumbling and she knew she could not sleep for the rest of her life, not matter how much she wished to.  
  
Emma stumbled out of bed, heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Slowly, as her senses fully woke up she was losing that dream-like peace. Life seemed to be a hurry to get back into her mind. She stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her wet body. She sat down on he bed to dry her hair, fully awake now.  
  
*~ Which is not a great thing considering . . .~* Sure enough, emotions started intruding into her privacy. Her friends were up and having breakfast, satiating their hunger. *~Pass the bread. Anyone want any coffee? ~*  
  
It was as if someone was picking at a fresh scab. Emma tried diverting her attention by trying to remember what she had felt in her dream, but it was slipping away. Emma stopped drying her hair and concentrated on last night. Why was that dream-place special? The answer came obligingly to the surface - because he was there. Emma didn't know who 'he' was but he had helped her. Throughout the night, he had been two steps behind her, never intruding but always there - a silent presence. For that perception and kindness, Emma was grateful.  
  
*~ But who was he? Why did he help me? ~*  
  
*~ Because I could. ~* Emma whirled around, almost falling of the bed. There was no one in the room, and Emma knew without a shadow of a doubt that the voice did not belong to one of the Mutant X members.  
  
*~ Who . . . who are you? ~*  
  
*~ A friend who wants to help you. Who CAN help you. ~*  
  
*~ How? How do you know me? HOW do you know what is wrong with me? ~*  
  
*~ Easy, I will answer all your questions but maybe face-to-face? I am sure this means of communication is difficult for you too. And I haven't slept all night as it is. ~*  
  
*~ Then it WAS you last night. Thank you. ~*  
  
*~ No problem, I live to help beautiful women. ~* Emma blushed at the sincerity in the man's thoughts and quickly asked the question uppermost in her mind.  
  
*~ When can I see you? ~*  
  
*~ Very soon, well . . . as soon as I get some sleep. Will you be all right if I leave you? ~*  
  
Emma didn't know what he meant when he said 'leave her' but she could make a pretty good guess. For a second she hesitated and then bravely said, *~ Yes, I think so. Don't worry about me. ~*  
  
*~ Good girl. Don't worry I'll be back soon. Remember, always, that you are strong even without me. Don't miss me too much. ~* And with a mental equivalent of a wink he was gone. Emma didn't know why, but she felt abandoned. However, when the pain did not start she thought that the man might have been right. She would be okay, even without him. *~ Still, I hope he comes back soon. ~*  
  
She finished dressing and decided to leave her room. She felt good enough to face the whole world, even Brennan.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Good morning guys. I hope you've left something for me." The Mutant X members almost choked on whatever they were eating as they heard Emma's happy voice. They all turned as one to look at her.  
  
Emma's step faltered for a minute, their shock presenting a daunting picture. However, she squared her shoulders and kept walking. She had every right to be there, she told herself. Any way, she was feeling much better now, nothing would happen. *~ Oh yeah, ~* a traitorous voice whispered in her head, *~ what happens when you face Brennan. Can you forget what he did to you? Can you forget what he did last night? ~*  
  
Emma refused to listen; she put all the hurt and pain bubbling in her and buried them deep inside her. She would deal with it later- later, she promised herself. Now she wanted to eat.  
  
"So, did anyone of you leave anything for me to eat?"  
  
Jesse smiled at her; he was not going to question the sudden change in Emma. "Naturally, thought if you had been a little late Brennan would have eaten everything." And he shovelled a large helping of eggs into Emma's plate. Her place had always been set, every morning since all the trouble began.  
  
Emma looked down at her plate and then up at her friends. She smiled; her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She could feel the love emanating from all of them, whatever else they felt they were happy to have her back. Sometimes, she mused, her gift was not such a bad thing after all.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	9. Chapter 9

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan was having trouble concentrated on the food in front of him. He surreptitiously kept glancing at Emma, sitting in front of him. She was not saying much, seemingly content to just sit there and bask in the fact that they were all together again. Nevertheless, she looked . . . *~wonderful ~*. It was the only word he could use to describe her.  
  
She still seemed tired and a bit aloof, as if she was watching and cataloguing all of them for some future date. But her face was calm, more peaceful than Brennan had seen for a while. She seemed to radiate tranquillity, as if she had faced her inner demons and won. and her eyes . . . her eyes . . . *~ so blue. There are so blue. I wonder why I have not noticed before. I wonder what happened to her? Will she tell me if I ask? ~*  
  
And as if she had heard him, Emma looked straight at Brennan, into his eyes. Brennan gave up pretending to eat and stared at her. He completely forgot what he been thinking of or even why? He just drowned in Emma's eyes, looking at her, drinking her in. He had been denied this for so long that he had forgotten how much he enjoyed looking at her. Emma blushed slightly, a light rose dusting her cheeks. Brennan smiled, seeing her colour felt like coming home.  
  
With their gazes still locked he quietly asked, "What happened last night Emma? What brought you back to all off us?"  
  
At his question, all the meaningless chatter around the table ended, blanketing the room in complete silence. Everyone looked at Emma, hoping that she would answer, but understanding if she chose to say nothing.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma felt the prattling wash over her, not really listening to what they were saying. She didn't feel any need to, more than happy to stay in the background and watch her friends. *~ Life should always be this simple. ~*  
  
She picked at her eggs, not eating much. *~ Great, I'm out for a few days and everyone forgets I don't like eggs. Well . . . at least they didn't try to feed me bacon. ~* It struck Emma as very ironic that after all she had been through she should be back to worrying about food. *~Life had truly brought me full circle,~* Emma thought, smiling slightly.  
  
Still smiling she looked across the table, only then realising that Brennan was staring at her. She forgot about the eggs, forgot about the rest of the people at the table. She couldn't look away from Brennan. And if she was honest with herself, she didn't want to turn away. All her fears about confronting him just melted away. She could not even recall why she had been so apprehensive. She could not think of anything else except how much she had missed feeling Brennan's eyes on her.  
  
He just kept looking at her; Emma wasn't complaining but she could feel herself blush. *~ Why is he staring at me? I hope no one else noticed me blushing. ~* Emma was too flustered to think clearly, and she was not risking any sort of mental contact with Brennan yet. *~ I'll think about it later, as soon as he stops looking at me. He has such attractive eyes. ~*  
  
With their gazes still locked Brennan quietly asked, "What happened last night Emma? What brought you back to all off us?" Emma thought she heard him add, *~ brought you back to me ~* but she decided it was just her imagination.  
  
She considered the question, not knowing where to begin or how much to say. How much would they understand? How much did she understand herself?  
  
"I am not sure myself. I don't understand what happened or why, but this I can say, I am much better now." Emma hoped that they would accept that and drop the subject. Wishful thinking.  
  
"We are very glad you are better now, but still . . . something must have happened to help you." Brennan insisted. *~ Tell me . . . trust me . . . please. ~*  
  
Emma heard that silent plea, and found herself unable to resist it. "I really don't know. All I know I was in pain." Emma closed her eyes as she remembered, swaying slightly. Brennan leaned forward, feeling the memory of her pain, even though not understanding the cause of it. She opened her eyes to look at him again, and he forgot to breathe because of the pain he saw in her eyes.  
  
Emma took a deep breathe and continued, "It was terrible . . . the pain. I thought I would die but then . . ." She stopped to consider how to put this, knowing instinctively that her friends would be incredulous.  
  
Brennan took her hands in his, squeezing them gently, giving her silent support she needed. She looked at him gratefully, "But yesterday . . . yesterday, I met someone." *~ And he helped me when no could. He said 'trust me' and I did. ~* "He helped me."  
  
"Who was he?" Brennan asked, a shade of urgency in this question. *~ Emma MET someone?! How? How did he help her when I . . . we obviously couldn't? ~*  
  
"I . . . I don't know." Emma replied in a small voice, not being able to meet Brennan's stare, which was getting more aggressive by the minute. He was pressing her hands too hard, she tried to free them, but Brennan just tightened his grip. "But he helped me." she repeated.  
  
"So, do you know who he is, where he comes from? . . . His name?" Adam quietly asked, getting more worried at each negative reply.  
  
"But he helped you, how?"  
  
Emma shook her head again, "I don't know but he did. You can ask him all these questions when I meet him."  
  
"Meet him!" Brennan stood up abruptly, and started pacing the room. He didn't like the idea of Emma going off to meet some stranger. His distrust was starting to infect her as well. She looked at the rest of the team, hoping to get some support from them.  
  
Shalimar steeled herself against that mute entreaty and said, "Emma, I know that you think this guy helped you but you can't be sure. He could just be taking advantage of your weakened state. You said yourself you were not sure what happened to you, then how can a stranger know."  
  
"Shalimar is right," Jesse piped in. "You don't know anything about this man. He could be an agent from the Strand or some psycho. You know what happened last time you met a stranger at a bar. You . . ."  
  
"Say it, I know what happened. I died. But this man is not like Caleb. You don't understand. This man helped me, he would never hurt me." Emma was in tears now. Her friends did not understand, they were making everything worse. Emma felt the calm she had fought so hard to find, slip away from her. She could feel the wall this 'stranger' had helped her to construct totter.  
  
"Emma, please be reasonable. You can't know that. You don't know anything about this man."  
  
"I know I trust him, I know he can help me. I know I have to go to him." Emma got up, determined to leave before she lost her sanity. The scepticism in the room was eating away at her faith, and thus eating away at the defences the man had put in place.  
  
"Emma, please." Adam caught her before she could run out the room. "I think you should go to bed. Everything will be better after you get some rest. You are overwrought, maybe suffering from some form of manipulation."  
  
Emma yanked herself free, "I am not some baby Adam. I know what is best for me."  
  
"So what you are saying that you trust some stranger over us, your family." Brennan heatedly said.  
  
"No, . . . I didn't mean that." Emma was getting confused now. Maybe her friends were right; this man could be using her. After all, what did she know about him? Her doubts assailed her, bringing the already fragile fences crashing down. With these safeguards gone, the whole vicious cycle started again. First, her friends' emotions struck her, causing her to sink further, leaving her completely exposed.  
  
Emma swayed, beginning to lose awareness. Brennan jumped forward to catch her before she fell to the floor. Cradling her in his arms, he looked up, alarmed.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	10. Chapter 10

I'm back . . . back at uni. YUCK! Sorry for the delay in chapters but I am still in the middle of unpacking and all. I thought I'd post the chapter for all of you who have been waiting. Keep all the reviews coming, it makes the writing worthwhile. Especially since I read other people's stories and can't help but think. They are so much better than mine. All of you - keep it up. I wait for the end of the day, when I can come and relax by reading your fiction.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Why doesn't she get up Adam, it's been two days?" Shalimar quietly asked the tired looking man. He hadn't slept in two days, running every test he could think of on Emma, with no result.  
  
"I think . . . I think she doesn't want to get up. I think that she's given up, she doesn't want to face the pain anymore."  
  
"You can't mean that Adam. Emma is not that weak to give up."  
  
"But we can't know what pain she had been suffering. If Emma's disclosure was anything to go by, unconsciousness might be the most merciful state for her at the moment."  
  
"What do you mean?!"  
  
"Think about it Shalimar, if she's in pain every waking moment, then it is better she doesn't wake up until I can find some way to correct the problem. I can only guess that her psionic powers have evolved in some way, which she had been unable to control. I only wish I knew what caused this change."  
  
Shalimar looked at Adam's haggard face. "Well, you're not going to be any use if you don't get any rest. You look like hell."  
  
"Gee, thanks." But Adam did not protest as Shalimar shepherded (more like carried) him to his room.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan watched, as Emma lay unmoving in the lab. *~ This is all my fault. I shouldn't have pushed her so hard. ~* Brennan knew that somehow, he had managed to put Emma on this table. *~ I shouldn't have said those things to her. ~* Brennan still shuddered at the thought of that night, the night he had made Emma cry.  
  
He brushed the hair of her forehead, praying that somehow his touch would wake her up. She didn't even bat and eyelid as he caressed her cheek. She just lay there, still as a corpse. *~Please Emma. Get up. I am sorry for what I did. Let me make it up to you. Just please wake up. ~*  
  
Brennan bent down, his face in his hands, tears seeping through his fingers. What if she never woke up? What if he never got a chance to say he was sorry? He couldn't bear it. The thought that he would never see Emma smile was killing him. *~ Emma, you have to come back. You can't leave us . . . you can't leave me. ~*  
  
*~ Let me help you. ~*  
  
"Emma, is that you?" For a moment, everything was right in the world again.  
  
*~ No, sorry. I am not Emma but I CAN help her. ~*  
  
*~ YOU. You're the guy that did this to Emma. You bastard . . . I'm ~*  
  
*~ You're going to do nothing. If you want to help Emma, you'll get me to her. She needs me right now. ~*  
  
*~ She needs us right now, not some outsider. ~*  
  
*~ Don't let your feeling blind you to the fact that you haven't been able to help Emma yet. Maybe, just maybe I can help her. Aren't you willing to take that risk, for her? ~*  
  
Brennan looked at Emma, for her he was willing to do anything.  
  
*~ Then bring me to her. Hurry otherwise we'll lose her. ~*  
  
If anything could have convinced Brennan, the urgency in that unknown voice did it. Without asking any more questions, he got up and went to the Double Helix. The last thing the 'voice' told him was to meet him at the club they were at last night.  
  
*~ Only for you Emma. Only for you. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan arrived at the Club, it seemed deserted, no one in sight. How was he to find this man? He didn't know his name, description, anything. *~ He better show up, otherwise . . . otherwise . . . ~*  
  
"Otherwise you'll do what? Right now, you need me more than I need you." Brennan whirled around to see who was speaking.  
  
Smiling, slightly ironically at him was a good-looking young man, maybe his age, or a little older. Black hair left slightly long, and black eyes. An olive colour complexion, probably Latin American or Spanish, Brennan figured. He was about Brennan's height, but slightly leaner of frame. He just missed being slender by a margin. He was handsome, Brennan reckoned - if you liked those sort.  
  
The man's eyes crinkled in a smile - he definitely had a nice smile. "If you've finished looking me over, can we go to Emma?"  
  
"Wait a minute, I don't know anything about you. Why should I take you anywhere?"  
  
The man sighed, clearly impatient to leave. "OK ok! My name is Edward, I am Spanish-American. Well, my mother was Spanish and my father was American. I am 30 years old. I have a Master's degree from Yale in psychology. I am not married at the moment. And . . . and let's see what else can I tell you . . . oh yeah, I am a telepath and the only one who can help Emma at the moment.  
  
His . . . Edward's, expression became concerned and brooked no arguments. If Brennan wanted to help Emma, he had to get Edward to her. Brennan looked at Edward, clearly wondering if he could trust him.  
  
*~ For the love of God, she could be dying as we speak. ~*  
  
For a second Brennan saw into Edward's mind and that convinced him. There was no way to fake that sincerity or the concern. Brennan led him to the Double Helix and flew towards sanctuary . . . and Emma.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"What do mean he can help Emma? We don't know anything about him! HE could be the reason Emma is in this condition. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!" Shalimar screamed at Brennan, for a moment he thought that she was going to deck him. *~ Not that I don't deserve it. But I had to do something! ~*  
  
Jesse calmed Shalimar down while Adam wading into the attack, "I appreciate your concern, but this man could be a security risk. He could have fooled you to get into Sanctuary. It's been known to happen." Adam stopped to look at Edward, who was patiently standing in the corner.  
  
"Adam, I know all of this, and all I can say is that I was not thinking rationally. But this guy is a very powerful telepath. He had no trouble contacting me despite the distance; maybe he can get in touch with Emma. Please Adam, we have to let him try. I don't think he will hurt her."  
  
Adam thought about what Brennan said, and decided that since this man was here Adam might as well let him see Emma. On cue Edward walked up to the two men and said, "Now that you've finished talking about me, can I see her?" Powerful telepath indeed, Adam thought.  
  
"Yes, if you'll come with me."  
  
"My pleasure." Edward followed Adam towards the lab.  
  
Emma was still lying there, not moving. Shalimar hovered protectively around the prone body of her friend, her feral instinct primed to 'remove' Edward if he did anything to Emma.  
  
"Has there been any change in her status?" Adam asked Shalimar.  
  
"None, she's still not responding to any stimuli. Let's see what psionic boy can do." She answered. All the Mutant X members turned to Edward to see what he would do.  
  
Edward didn't say anything calmly walking up to Emma. He gently brushed his hand over her forehead, without any response from her. He bent down over her, his breath gently ruffling her hair. *~ Get up Emma, I'm here. I won't let anything else happen to you. Get up, darling. ~*  
  
"Is that it?" Shalimar demanded; she didn't trust Edward at all. He turned to confront those glowing yellow eyes, but stayed silent. "This is ridiculous, how can THIS guy help Emma?!"  
  
Edward ignored Shalimar, and turned back to Emma. He stroked her cheek, willing her to wake up with all his might. Shalimar was going to tell him to get his hands off Emma, but a moment later forgot what she was going to say. Emma stirred under Edward's touch and opened her eyes.  
  
She took his hand and sat up, her eyes never leaving him. "Edward!?" He nodded at her and Emma smiled.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	11. Chapter 11

New couple? Emma and Edward? Would I do that to the people reading the story? . . . Well, actually I might. Keep reading and reviewing to find out what happens.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"I can't believe you came." Emma said for the tenth time. Edward smiled at her and replied for the tenth time, "I said I would be there for you. Since you could not come to me, I came to you. Simple." He shrugged, as if it were no big deal, and indicated that they continue walking. Edward had decided that Emma had needed some exercise after lying on her butt for so long, and Emma had agreed. It meant spending time alone with Edward and Emma was not averse to the idea.  
  
"Simple." Emma repeated in a quiet voice. Maybe it was simple for him, but Emma still shuddered when she thought of all the pain she went through before he came. *~ If he hadn't come . . . what would have happened to me? ~*  
  
*~Nothing! ~* Edward's thoughts sharply cut in. It still amazed Emma how easily he could read her. *~ You would have found some way to handle it yourself. ~* Edward's 'thought' voice softened, *~You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. ~*  
  
Emma shook her head, "I didn't seem to be handling it too well before you came."  
  
"It takes time, psionic power is hard enough to control as it is. Combine that with your inherent strength and inexperience and . . . well you've got a mess." Emma was grateful to Edward for downplaying the seriousness of what had happened to her.  
  
It had been almost four days since Edward had come to Sanctuary to wake her up. She only vaguely remembered what had happened. All she knew was that she had been drowning. She was so tried that she had been ready to give up and let the emotions overwhelm her and drag her down. Emma knew now that if that had happened she would have never woken up. Her mind would have burned out, leaving a vegetable behind, a living corpse.  
  
It would have been so easy, to give up, to end it. Emma knew it was only Edward's presence that had saved her. He had pushed all the other emotions out of her head, forcing them to leave her alone. He had made built up Emma's defences when she was too weak to do it herself. He had held her, comforted her when it all seemed pointless. He had thrown her a line by which she could drag herself to safety. Emma knew this, and had no idea how she would begin to repay him.  
  
*~ Well, the first thing you can do is stop thinking about it. It's making me blush. ~* Emma grinned, making Edward blush sounded like lots of fun. *~ And second you can smile a lot more. ~*  
  
Edward stopped and said to Emma, "Maybe we should go back. Your friends will get worried if I keep you with me for to long. I get the feeling they don't trust me too much." As a telepath, Edward knew that they didn't trust him at all. They only tolerated him because he seemed to be helping Emma.  
  
He mentally sighed, he knew that he had to win their respect, but their hostility was not helping the situation. Emma was picking it up, and it was creating a conflict within her. Was she being disloyal to her friends or should she trust was she knew in her heart? The fact that she was still susceptible to outside emotions was another complication.  
  
After four days, working intensively with Emma, Edward had managed to help build at least a perimeter defence system. Seeing how fast she had come, and how eager she was to learn, Edward felt an almost proprietarily pride in her. But he also knew she was at a dangerous stage; a relapse now would put her beyond his help. However, all he could do was help her, and trust that everything would work out. *~ And keep her away from prolonged contact with a certain person. ~* Edward added to himself.  
  
"If you've finished worrying about me and my friends, shall we go back?" Emma inquired. Edward looked at, momentarily taken aback. Then he started laughing. Sometimes, he forgot how difficult it was to hide emotions from a telempath. He would have to be more careful in the future. Emma smiled, telling him that he was not doing too a good job of it at the moment.  
  
Still laughing, Edward raced Emma back to Sanctuary.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Adam watched Emma laughing as Edward continued to distract her from her meditation exercises. She finally jumped on him to stop him from pulling faces at her. Her face was aglow and her eyes sparkled as she mock-wrestled Edward to the ground. She was definitely better, Adam couldn't remember the last time he had heard her laugh so unconditionally. This Edward had been good for her, even Adam had to admit that in the privacy of his own thoughts.  
  
*~Still, we still don't know much about him. ~* Adam's protective instincts were working overtime; he hadn't slept much in the last few days, using the time to track this stranger who had so miraculously appeared in their lives.  
  
There hadn't been much about him in the files, which in itself worried Adam. From what Adam could tell, Edward had lived a clean and normal life. Done well at Yale, graduated with honours, been respected by his colleagues; his life had been near perfect as humanly possible, until he lost a wife at 26. After that, Edward seemed to disappear completely, no job, no friends old or new. And now, suddenly he was here, in Emma's life.  
  
Adam acknowledged that Edward's disappearance could just be a result of personal tragedy and sudden return just a coincidence. But, Adam was still sceptical, he would not interfere as long as Emma seemed to want Edward around, but neither was he going to give his wholehearted support.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Shalimar determinedly headed towards the dojo, really needing to work some steam off. The last few days had stretched her to the limit, if she didn't beat someone up or break something she was liable to explode. Her feral instincts were protesting at being reined in repeatedly. They wanted to protect her pack-mate, they wanted to take remove Edward. But Shalimar knew she couldn't do that; for whatever perverse reason Emma seemed to want Edward around and Shalimar had to respect that.  
  
Of course, that didn't mean that Shalimar had to like it. *~ Emma had better get Edward out of her system soon or I am going to have to do it for her. ~*  
  
Shalimar entered the dojo only to see Edward on top of Emma, holding her down. She was clearly struggling with him. "Edward let me up. Please."  
  
"Oh no, my lovely. I have you right where I want you and I intend to take full advantage of it."  
  
Shalimar had seen enough. Before Edward could hurt her friend anymore, she turned feral and kicked him off Emma. She was a little enthusiastic in her defence because Edward not only 'got off' Emma, he went flying across the room, hitting the wall with a loud thump.  
  
"SHALIMAR!" Emma was up and kneeling next to an almost unconscious Edward. "You almost kill Edward"  
  
"He was hurting you."  
  
"He WAS NOT!" Emma looked at her friend indignantly.  
  
"Come on Emma. I saw him pin you to the floor." Emma spluttered, too angry to reply.  
  
"I should have hit him harder. It would have served him right." Shalimar growled at Edward.  
  
"Shalimar, he was not hurting me. We were just fooling around."  
  
"Fooling around? It didn't sound like that to me."  
  
"Well, you were wrong. Apologise to Edward." Emma was getting angrier by the minute. She turned to face Shalimar, hands on her hips, eyes blazing. Shalimar matched Emma's glare for glare, refusing to concede that she might have been wrong.  
  
They were distracted from their glowering match by a weak groan from the floor. "Uh . . . ladies if you've finished slicing each other up, some help would be greatly appreciated."  
  
"Oh, sorry Edward." Emma hurriedly bent down to pick Edward up from the floor. "Are you hurt? Can I get you anything?"  
  
"The number of that truck? Remind me next time never to wrestle with you. I don't want to see what the rest of team will do to me." Edward gingerly massaged his neck and shoulder to assure himself that nothing was broken.  
  
Shalimar belatedly realised that she might have wrong. Emma didn't seem hurt, and Edward seemed genuinely surprised.  
  
"Yes, my beautiful lady. I truly wasn't planning to . . . err . . . have my way with Emma. We were just having a bit of fun, play-acting if you will." Shalimar blushed, realising that Edward had read her thoughts.  
  
"It's ok, you're too lovely to be angry with. I forgive you." Edward grinned as Shalimar did another double take. This time, she knew he could not be reading her thoughts. She definitely was NOT thinking of apologising. Edward winked at her, Shalimar realised that he had very cleverly manoeuvred her into this position. She couldn't retract the 'apology' without upsetting Emma so had, for all practical purposed apologised.  
  
Emma picked up on the subtle exchange between Shalimar and Edward and burst out laughing. They both looked at the laughing telempath and gave in to laughter themselves.  
  
*~ Maybe Edward is not so bad after all. ~*  
  
*~ Told you so. ~* Emma privately whispered in Shalimar's mind.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	12. Chapter 12

For all you impatient B/E shippers, may this satisfy you.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~ Concentrate Emma! Shut your mind to all other thoughts. Push them out of your mind. ~*  
  
*~ I can't! I CAN'T. It's too painful. ~* Emma gasped as another wave of emotions overtook her. For a minute, she thought she was going to drown but somehow, she managed to fight her way to the surface. She collapsed onto all fours struggling for every breath.  
  
Edward crouched down next to her and slowly massaged her back. "See, that wasn't too bad. Was it?"  
  
All Emma did was glare at him, too tired to say anything. Edward smiled, knowing fully well how difficult it was to shut out the rest of the world and it's pain. *~ Still, Emma was doing well. ~*  
  
"You call this . . . this, 'doing well'!" Emma spluttered, catching her breath long enough to say something.  
  
"Yes, yes I do." Edward sat down, leaning against the wall. "I know you are tired of the pain, but please remember that protecting yourself is not a task accomplished in a day. You're still learning."  
  
"Yes, but while I am learning I rather not have my mind fried in the process." Emma commented wryly, using the towel lying next to her, to dry her sweat drenched hair.  
  
"I won't let that happen." Edward promised. "As long as I am here, I won't let anything happen to you." *~ Trust me. ~*  
  
*~ Always. ~* Emma didn't have to look 'into' to believe him. She knew that he would protect her with everything in him.  
  
"Why is it so much easier when you are with me in my mind?" Emma asked, sitting down in front of Edward so that she could see his face.  
  
Edward smiled, "Because I know what I am doing. I can help you in blocking out unwanted thoughts. Two minds working together are always better than one alone."  
  
"Then why do I need to work alone?  
  
Edward didn't answer and Emma did not insist on an answer. The unspoken thought hung between them - *~ Because I cannot always be there. You do not want me to always be with you. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
During one of their meditation exercises, Edward's stomach grumbled. Emma giggled, "Come on, I don't need to be psionic to know that you are hungry. Let's take a break and get something to eat."  
  
"I'm game. Let's go." Edward agreed with some alacrity.  
  
"Some telepath you are, can't even control your stomach."  
  
"Hey, I said I can read people's thoughts, I didn't say I was some yogi or something. Minds are easy to control, but my stomach . . . I've got not control over it whatsoever." And right on cue his stomach protested again.  
  
Emma rolled her eyes, "Well, I think we better feed it before it wakes everyone up."  
  
As Emma and Edward turned into the kitchen, they realised that Edward's stomach had already woken up someone. Well, the fact that Shalimar was nocturnal could have something to do with it.  
  
Shalimar turned around to see who was up at this time of the night. She smiled at Emma and politely nodded at Edward. The dojo incident might have thawed the ice a bit but spring was definitely a long way off.  
  
"So, what brings you two here at this time of the night."  
  
"Edward's very noisy stomach." Emma said as she plopped herself onto one of the kitchen seats and watched him attack the fridge.  
  
"I meant, how come both of you are up at this time of the night."  
  
"I had some trouble sleeping . . . so Edward thought that it would be best if we got training instead."  
  
"Edward thought? How did he know . . .?" Shalimar was confused. *~ Please tell me that he isn't sharing a bed with her. ~*  
  
Emma glanced at Shalimar and shook her head. Edward turned from the fridge and answered Shalimar, "She was in pain. I felt it."  
  
Shalimar looked at Emma and then at Edward, those matter-of-fact sentences didn't tell the entire story. Emma didn't add anything; she didn't feel like explaining how Edward watched over her. How he protected her while she slept, cradling her, soothing away her pain and helping her sleep. The dark circles under his eyes were evidence enough of how caring he was, if anyone cared to look.  
  
The three sat in silence, not knowing what to say. Edward ate his sandwich, looking carefully at the two women. Even without trying, he could feel Emma's discomfort; this had to stop. Somehow, he had to make the tension go away.  
  
"You know, this peanut-butter sandwich doesn't taste complete without jelly."  
  
*~ Brennan like jelly with peanut butter as well. ~* Emma's thought cut into him. The pain behind that innocuous thought made him rock back.  
  
*~ Control, Emma. Control. ~* Edward admonished her. *~Stop thinking about him. ~* Emma took a deep breath and did what he told her.  
  
Shalimar curiously watched the two psionics; something had just happened. Her sharp feral eyes couldn't help but notice how Emma's face had twisted with pain and how Edward had lost colour. Sure, it had only been for a moment but it HAD happened. Shalimar looked pointedly at Emma, but she reused to meet Shalimar's eyes. Something had definitely happened.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
After almost a month, most of the Mutant X member's had gotten used to Edward being around. If they ever saw Emma, Edward would usually be around, somewhere. Sometimes, in the background, sometimes in the other room. But always close enough to remind them - he was looking after Emma.  
  
He was so unobtrusive that the team really didn't notice him most of the time. They were just happy Emma was better. She laughed a lot more, and was comfortable around them. It was almost like old times again - just with another shadow amongst them. Yes, Mutant X didn't mind Edward so much anymore. They were even willing to be friendlier towards him.  
  
That is, except for Brennan.  
  
Even though he acknowledged that Edward had helped Emma, he wanted the telepath out of their . . . *~ his life ~*. He had done his job; Emma was better, now he should leave. Nothing was going to budge Brennan from that stance.  
  
On the rare occasions that Brennan calmly and rationally thought about Edward, he wondered at his aversion to the man. Edward hadn't done anything wrong, had not hurt anyone. So why was Brennan so unwilling to give him a chance?  
  
*~ Because Emma smiles at him. She laughs with him. Her eyes light up when he walks in the room. Because she looks for him first when she enters the room. Because when she is in pain, she turns to him. ~*  
  
Brennan tried to calm himself, forcing down his hatred of Edward. It came down to that - he hated the man. Brennan might not fully understand why, but he knew that he loathed Edward.  
  
He looked up from his book to where Emma and Edward were sitting, deep in some conversation. Emma laughed at something Edward said, blushing deeply. Brennan could see her colour, even from a distance. Edward leaned in to whisper something in Emma's ear. Brennan gritted his teeth, very tempted to go over and yank Edward away from her. *~ I hate him. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~ I hate him. ~*  
  
Brennan's anger and hatred for Edward struck Emma. Try as she might, she could not shut him completely out of her mind. And now he was running the few precious moment of peace that she had. Why must he ruin everything for her? Why couldn't she keep him out of her mind? What was wrong with her?  
  
She looked straight at him, angrily meeting his eyes, willing with all her might for him to leave her alone.  
  
*~ Why do you trust him? ~* Brennan silently asked. He knew Emma, could hear him. He wanted her to answer him. Everything in him begged for an answer.  
  
Emma heard the question but she heard much more. At some deeper level, she heard Brennan call out to her. *~ Why don't you trust me? Why have you turned away from me? I am sorry for whatever I have done. Please Emma . . . ~* Emma blanched; Brennan's sorrow and ache struck some deep nerve in her.  
  
She closed her eyes, not knowing how to deal with Brennan's emotions which so carelessly enflamed hers. Her head spun, she could not deal with so much anguish - his, hers . . . The unhappiness of the two mingled and fed off each other till Emma could not tell if the pain she felt was hers or Brennan's.  
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder; it was Edward smiling regretfully at her. He shook his head slightly. *~ Emma please, don't do this to yourself. ~*  
  
*~ Then YOU tell me how to stop it. Tell me WHAT this is and I will stop it. Why do I feel this way? Why must he hurt me so much? WHY?! ~*  
  
Edward didn't answer; he entered Emma's mind and severed the connection between her and Brennan. Emma gasped at the swiftness of it. The pain stopped, but now her body was empty, numb *~ so alone. ~* Silently Edward led Emma out of the room.  
  
Brennan watched as Edward took Emma away. He could not move, the deadness in his body paralysing him. He almost welcomed the pain again. *~ At least, then I know she is still with me. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but uni network was down. So here is the next chapter. Some advice please . . . how do I get Brennan got confess his feelings, whom should he talk to about what is happening between him and Emma. Emma has Edward, all nice and understanding. Who does Brennan have? Shalimar?!  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma blindly followed Edward into her room. She stumbled on some discarded piece of clothing, only Edward's hand preventing her from falling to the floor.  
  
"Careful, sweetheart. Watch where you are going." Emma looked at Edward with unseeing eyes. Edward shuddered at the barrenness he saw there.  
  
He carefully sat her down on her bed, and pulled up a chair so he could sit next to her. Emma sat quietly on the bed, unheeding of Edward's presence or the silent tears which flowed down her cheeks. For all her physical stillness her mind was in a turmoil, crying over and over again like a litany *~ Why? Why? Why? . . . ~*  
  
It took all of Edward's strength not to cry himself; Emma's emotions were so strong. He painstakingly brought himself under control, shutting Emma out of his mind as ruthlessly as he had pushed Brennan out of hers.  
  
Finally, after gaining some semblance of control, he gently shook her causing her to turn her dead eyes on him. "Darling, please, don't do this to yourself."  
  
Emma turned her face away from him and sat there, her eyes focused on the wall, as if she could see through it. See Brennan through it . . . *~ Brennan . . . Brennan . . . BRENNAN! ~*  
  
"EMMA, enough. Snap out of it." Edward roughly shook her, causing her to grab his shoulders to prevent herself from falling backwards. She looked at Edward, finally seeing him, her fists clenching and unclenching in his shirt. She gulped, trying to speak but the sobs still racking her body refused to let any word escape from her throat.  
  
Edward gathered her slim body to him and gently rocked her. "Cry, darling. I know it hurts. Cry all you want. Empty it all out of your system."  
  
Emma clutched at him, letting herself go, letting go of all the pain she had been trying to fight. Her slender body shivered as she cried into Edward's shirt. Throughout it all, he held her tightly, protecting her from herself. He cradled her like a child as she cried and finally when there was nothing left in her, he just held her.  
  
"It'll be okay. Everything will be okay. Trust me sweetheart." He stroked the back of her head until she was ready to talk.  
  
"Feeling better?" Emma looked up at him with her red-rimmed eyes and he winced.  
  
*~ Will I ever feel better? ~*  
  
*~Oh, sweetie I hope so. ~* Small comfort, but that was all Edward could offer her.  
  
"Edward . . .?"  
  
"Yes, darling?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Edward sighed, what could he say? What couldn't he say?  
  
"Do you want to hear a story, little one?" Emma nodded weakly, clutching Edward even tighter as if his presence would substitute for another's.  
  
"Well, there was once this nice young boy. He grew up believing that if he did good in this world and never hurt anyone then, this world would do good by him. All his life he practised this creed and it seemed to work in the beginning. He had a good life, a good job, good friends. Everything a nice young man could ask for. To make it all complete he met someone, someone wonderful . . ."  
  
"What was her name?" Emma asked as Edward paused.  
  
"Marie Adamson. She was the most beautiful creature this man had ever seen. Everything she did was enchanting to him. He lived for her and she for him. They were very happy together. Eventually they got married and the young man thought that life couldn't get any better.  
  
But he was very wrong, so wrong." Edward swallowed and then continued. "These nice people had been married for about two years when Marie became pregnant. She was so beautiful, it was as if some inner light was glowing through her. The young man thought that if anyone was meant to be a mother it was Marie.  
  
But it was not meant to be. Marie died giving birth to their son. He didn't survive for even 24 hours. In one day, the young man lost everything. His child, the woman he loved more than life - his very reason for living."  
  
Emma felt Edward's tear fall on her cheek and she asked very quietly, "How old were you?"  
  
He looked down at her, into her clearly lucid, blue eyes. "26."  
  
"I . . . I . . ." *~ I am so sorry Edward. ~*  
  
*~ I know. I know dear heart. ~*  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
*~ Because it still hurts. Because I still wake up in the middle of the night still smelling her perfume. Because my arms still feel empty after these barren years . . . these fours years. ~*  
  
"Well, I'm telling you now aren't I?"  
  
Emma couldn't believe that she hadn't felt Edward's pain before. It was so clear now, an empty space deep within. *~So empty, so cold, so alone . . . so like . . . mine. ~*  
  
Emma sat up, needing to put some distance between her and Edward. She didn't want to think about what he had said, she didn't want to see Edward in so much pain. She didn't want to admit that he had so many scars . . . she didn't want think how his story was relevant to her.  
  
"Why . . . why are you telling me this now?"  
  
"Because I know how it feels to lose someone you love."  
  
"Love?" Emma shook her head, moving further away from Edward. "No, you're wrong." She laughed, but it sounded too much like a sob. "I haven't lost anyone, let alone someone I love." She shook her head again, trying to deny, wipe out what Edward had implied.  
  
"It's okay, sweetie. I know how you feel. I've been there."  
  
"NO!! You don't know what you are talking about. I don't love . . . him"  
  
Edward sadly smiled at Emma. "Having trouble saying his name? Say his name for me, Emma. Tell me you don't love him."  
  
"I . . . I CAN'T. I can't, I don't."  
  
"Don't lie to me Emma. I have been in your mind, I know you better than you probably know yourself. You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. I have seen the way you look at him, as if you had found your purpose in life. I have seen the way you hold your breath even if he glances your way. I have felt your pain when you are near him. Don't lie to me Emma."  
  
"That is not love."  
  
"Then what is it? What do you call it when you think of him more than you think of yourself? What do you call it when you dream of him all night, when he is the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing in the night?"  
  
"But it hurts so much. I don't want it if this is love."  
  
"Do you really mean that? I could make it so that you feel nothing for Brennan. I could permanently cut him out of your mind - drastic surgery if you wish. "  
  
*~ Feel nothing for Brennan? Feel nothing, be numb around him . . . emotionless, indifferent, . . . dead. ~* Emma shook her head. *~ If the pain is all I can have of him then so be it. ~*  
  
"The pain reminds us that we are still alive. If we ache so much then we must be alive somewhere, right?" Edward said distantly, for a moment lost in his own memories.  
  
Emma squeezed his shoulder, trying to lessen his pain. This man who had helped her when she thought no one could. Edward smiled, "It doesn't help that we are psionic does it? When we love, it is complete - mind, body and soul."  
  
Emma nodded, knowing exactly what Edward meant. "Is that why I am so sensitive to him? Is that why he gets under my defences so easily?"  
  
"We are always vulnerable to people we are close to. For the one we love, our defences might as well not exist."  
  
"Then . . . what do I do?"  
  
"Love him. What else can you do? Love him and be happy for him no matter what. The more you fight what you feel the worse it will be for you.."  
  
"I don't know whether I can. I can't see him with . . . someone else."  
  
"Better than not seeing him at all." It was not a question. Emma didn't speak, what could she say to a man who would never see the woman he loved? At the very least, she knew Brennan was alive. At the very least, her life still has meaning, even if it was one of hopelessness.  
  
"I think you should go to bed, we'll talk in the morning." Edward tucked Emma into bed, and kissed her on the forehead.  
  
As he turned to leave, Emma asked in a tremulous voice, "When does it stop hurting? When does it become easier to be away from the one you love?"  
  
*~ Never. You just learn to live with the pain. ~*  
  
Edward walked out of the room.  
  
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	14. Chapter 14

I honestly tried to make Brennan listen to Edward, but somehow it just didn't work out. I just couldn't see Brennan calmly accepting what Edward was saying. Which leaves me in exactly the same position. I am very tempted to knock Brennan's head in ;) Please tell me what you think of the chapter; I had a really tough time writing it. I am thinking of making Edward's life even harder now. I should have the next chapter up soon, please bear with me. Uni really sucks.  
  
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Edward shut the door behind him and for a minute leaned on the door for support. His body would not stop shaking and Edward was afraid that if he moved his legs would collapse from him. *~ Marie . . . I miss you so much. I know you would have been proud of me today. You would like Emma; she is so much like you in some ways. Good night darling . . . . I love you, I always have. ~*  
  
Edward didn't know if Marie could hear him or not, but he knew that he needed to speak to her, *~ see her . . . hold her. ~* Emma had awoken all the old wounds again. Edward sighed; this was going to be more difficult that he had originally thought. Now not only did he have to deal with Emma, he had to prevent himself from an emotional meltdown. *~ Life is never easy. ~*  
  
Edward quickly looked up when he heard someone come and stand in front of him. *~ Brennan? ~* The younger man looked at Edward with dead eyes, they seemed empty and lifeless to him. *~ Not another one. ~* Edward waited to see what Brennan would say, knowing that it was not going to be a pleasant little chat.  
  
Brennan continued to look at Edward, his gaze never wavered but neither did it register anything either. Finally, he said, "Is . . . Is she all right?" Even his voice sounded tired and defeated.  
  
"Who?" Edward needed to shake Brennan out of this stupor, it was frightening in it entirety. He just didn't know how.  
  
Brennan didn't answer, standing there absolutely still, effectively trapping Edward between him and Emma's door. Edward was becoming slightly panicky; Brennan's unresponsiveness was almost as painful as Emma's rawness. Between the two New Mutants, Edward was sure that he was going to lose the rest of his sanity as well.  
  
*~ Emma. ~* Brennan jerked back as if someone had let go of the string holding him up. His face collapsed and the sorrow, to which he had numbed himself, came flooding back. Edward swallowed; sorely tempted to shut his mind and run out of Sanctuary. *~ I guess I woke him up. Now why did I think that would help?! ~*  
  
"Yeah . . . yeah she's fine. As fine as can be."  
  
Brennan looked at Edward, silently questioning.  
  
"You hurt her." Brennan paled at Edward's statement. He had no doubt the telepath was speaking the truth. He did not like the man but somehow he knew that he would not lie either.  
  
"What can I do?" Brennan asked simply. He would not, could not, ask how he had hurt Emma. He didn't think he could bear it.  
  
Edward blinked in surprise, Brennan was asking HIM for advice?! He was asking the man he detested for advice? Edward was now getting very uneasy, the incident with Emma must have hurt Brennan more than he realised. Edward cursed himself for ignoring Brennan - after all, he was the other half to the problem.  
  
"Maybe we should talk somewhere else?" Edward tried to steer Brennan away from Emma's door. Brennan followed him, looking at Emma's door as if he could see the sleeping girl through it. Edward looked at the expression on Brennan's face. *~ Such longing . . . hmmm maybe there isn't that much of a problem as I thought. ~*  
  
Edward kicked himself, how could he have not realised it before? Brennan was in love with Emma - completely, hopelessly in love. Edward should have known that the bond they shared could not have been an accident or one- sided. He should have known that such a connection only came about with the consent of both people, subconscious though it may be. He should have known, after all he was the one with all this experience. *~ Marie. ~*  
  
He surreptitiously scanned Brennan, trying to get past the pain and try to ascertain how much Brennan understood about what was happening. Edward sighed, *~ Not much. This might turn out to be as hard as I originally thought. ~*  
  
Edward sat Brennan down in the sitting area, unsure of how to continue. Playing Cupid was not one of his specialities.  
  
"Emma is sleeping now. She was really tired." *~ Should I tell him that she's in love with him? Should I tell him he's in love with her? Will he believe anything I say? ~* Edward knew Brennan was not going to be as trusting as Emma was. *~ Now what? ~*  
  
"Well . . ."  
  
"She was crying, wasn't she?" Brennan cut in, hands tightly clenched, knuckles completely white.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What can I do?" Brennan repeated his question.  
  
"Admit that you love her." Edward regretted the answer as soon as it left his mouth.  
  
Brennan's mouth twisted in a bitter smile, "Love her? I don't LOVE her. You don't hurt people you love."  
  
"Sometimes you do."  
  
"Maybe you do. But I would never hurt someone I love." The anger was slowly seeping into Brennan's voice - dulling the pain.  
  
*~ Oh yeah, he's getting back to normal now. This is going to make my job even harder. Brennan please listen to me. ~*  
  
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! How dare you? Do you want to control me like you manipulate Emma?!"  
  
"Manipulate . . .?!" Edward looked at Brennan, not believing his ears. He felt himself snap, the emotional stress he was under had already brought him to the edge; Brennan's accusation now successfully pushed him over. How dare Brennan accuse him when he was trying to help HIM?!  
  
Edward got up and said, "I don't MANIPULATE Emma. She turns to me because she trusts me. Which is more than I can say for you. I don't blindly ignore my feeling and lash out at other people." White fury laced his word, he was sick of his motives being questioned.  
  
Brennan matched Edward's anger with a towering rage of his own, he needed to lash out at something and Edward was a highly convenient target. "What else would you call it? You took her away from the people she love. You continue to keep her away from us. And then you turn around and tell us that WE are hurting her. You're disgusting."  
  
"I am not keeping her away from anyone. She does not want to be with you all, she does not want to be with YOU."  
  
"You're lying. Emma would never stay away from me."  
  
"Maybe you push her away! Maybe you hurt her so much that she must stay away." Edward was shaking with wrath.  
  
He took a step toward Brennan, "You know what you want to do for Emma. Leave her alone. Your cynicism and anger hurt her enough. She doesn't need to be subjected to this anymore."  
  
'You can't keep me from her."  
  
"Believe me, I am tempted to try. I should remove you from her mind." With that, Edward left the room. He couldn't believe that he had threatened Brennan, what was wrong him? He needed some time away from this emotional roller coaster, clear his head. He hadn't realised how shattered he was.  
  
Brennan watched Edward leave. *~ Remove me from her mind. Remove me . . . ~* Brennan couldn't remember when something had scared him so much. He knew he was losing Emma, he just didn't understand why that terrified him so much.  
  
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	15. Chapter 15

I thought I would post this although what I should be doing is writing the three uni papers I have due on Monday. Ahh well, being screamed at is definitely less important than mutant X. Hope you like, I was somewhat distracted. I have this horrible vision of my proffs screaming at me.  
  
As for the plot, this chapter is a breather between 2 intense ones. It's a little tamer than I originally wanted but I wanted to show that despite that angst and pain life does go on. Hope I remember that when I am late with the assignments.  
  
I was reading the reviews again today ( I love reading them. So, all of you thanks. It means a lot to me), for those of you determined to see some 'badness' in the story I can still do that. It would fit into my mood these days perfectly ;) However, I could make this a little more gentle, a it were.  
  
PS. For the life of me I cannot figure out how to post a review. I would really like to so can someone help me?  
  
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Emma entered the kitchen a little earlier than usual. Last night's events had drained her and she needed some breakfast badly. She was in such a hurry to get to the food that she almost tripped over Jesse, whose head was sticking in the fridge. Jesse didn't even notice; he was so engrossed in finding the milk.  
  
Emma lightly tapped him on the shoulder; he was blocking her from the big plate on pancakes. And if he didn't move soon she was liable to pick him up and throw him over her shoulder. Emma giggled slightly at the thought of her picking up Jesse. *~ Yeah right, delusions of grandeur. ~*  
  
Jesse looked up impatiently, *~Who is tapping me so rudely . . .? ~*  
  
"Emma? What are you doing up . . . ?"  
  
"Trying to get pass you, so I can eat." Emma said, hunger evident in her voice.  
  
"Oh . . . yeah." Jesse said not moving a muscle. He continued to stare at Emma; something was different about her today. He just couldn't put his finger on it.  
  
"Jesse . . ." Emma was almost whining, close but not quite yet.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The pancakes Jesse. The pancakes!"  
  
This time Jesse moved, not taking his eyes off Emma. There was definitely something different about her. She looked . . . older?! Was that it? There was a definite air about her . . . a maturity about her that Jesse knew wasn't there before. *~What changed? ~*  
  
Emma looked up from her breakfast to look straight into Jesse's eyes. He immediately straightened at the gentle sadness he saw in them. He was going to ask he if anything was wrong but she stopped him by shaking her head slightly.  
  
Jesse subsided, if Emma didn't want to tell him at this moment, he was not going to force her. Emma knew that and she smiled her thanks at him. Yes, she had grown up, Jesse thought, a peculiar sadness filling him. Emma smiled, and her eyes twinkled but even Jesse could see the pain behind the laughter.  
  
Jesse had seen Emma in pain before; he had seen the pain rob her of everything else. But even the pain was different this time. It was if Emma had made her peace with her inner daemons. It was as if she had stopped fighting, and in that surrender she had found serenity.  
  
"The mild is going to curdle if you keep standing like that." Edward's voice cut into Jesse's thoughts. The older man walked up to where Emma was sitting. He gently brushed her cheek and sat down. Emma's eyes closed at the contact and she smiled. Edward smiled back, and took her hand gently squeezing them.  
  
Jesse watched this silent exchange between them. A question had been asked and Emma had answered it. Jesse wondered what was happening between the two psionics.  
  
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*~ I know that you are very beautiful dear heart, but I am getting a bit uncomfortable under Jesse's scrutiny. ~*  
  
Emma smiled, *~ He wants to know what happened to me. He wants to know why I have changed . . . Curious boy isn't he?~*  
  
*~ Has anything changed? ~* Edward's 'voice' was light but Emma could feel the worry underneath.  
  
She sighed, Edward knew the answer to his own question probably better than she did; however she also knew that until she said the words he was never going to be satisfied. *~ I suppose so. It's not every day that you realise that you are completely . . . hopelessly in love. ~* Emma swallowed, striving to keep the conversation light. She looked at Edward; she was not going to cry! *~ I love him Edward. I love him so much. ~*  
  
*~ I know little one. ~*  
  
*~ But you know what? I love him and that is enough. What I feel for . . . him . . . is a part of my - it's all I have. And I will not give it up for the world. ~*  
  
Edward gently took Emma's hand in hers. She smiled at him, telling him the truth. Her love was a part of her soul; she finally accepted it - yet she could not say HIS name. *~With time. With time. Maybe with time, you will learn to take joy from this pain. ~*  
  
"What's wrong with you three?" An irate voice demanded starling the three people in the kitchen.  
  
"I know it's early in the morning but such silence is unnatural. Jesse, shut your mouth, it's scraping the floor at the moment. Emma, get a room!"  
  
"Don't I get a good morning?"  
  
"No. What's good about the morning anyway?" Shalimar demanded as she grabbed the (full) container of mild from Jesse.  
  
Emma looked at the blonde, and couldn't help it - it started as giggles but very soon, she was clutching her sides.  
  
Shalimar looked at Emma and then at Jesse - even Edward joined in. She scowled but it didn't have the usual effect on her team members. She drank some milk, completely bewildered.  
  
Emma finally stopped laughing. It felt so good to just laugh; all the tension and misery of the last few days had almost made her forget these simple joys. She went up and gave Shalimar a quick hug and a peck of the check. Shalimar blinked and looked at the younger woman. "I think I woke up in the Twilight Zone or something. What's up with everyone?!"  
  
"Nothing. We are fine, great even." Emma replied.  
  
"Whatever." Shalimar shrugged and turned her attention to more serious matters - food.  
  
Jesse smiled and walked over to Emma. She was a bit surprised when he hugged her. Holding her tightly, he whispered into her ear, "Welcome back, I've missed you." Emma smiled and hugged him back.  
  
Jesse laughed, and sung Emma around. Things were looking a lot better thing morning.  
  
"Watch it you too. Some of us are trying to eat." Shalimar grumbled, but with no real hear. Despite the early hour of the morning, even she was happy. "Now that everyone is all cheerful and smiley, I have a suggestion. Let go out today. It's been so long."  
  
Emma nodded, and looked over at Edward who was watching the Mutant X members with a small smile on his face. "Will you come too?"  
  
"Why Emma, are you asking me out a date?" Edward asked playfully.  
  
"Yes, will you come with me?" Emma answered immediately.  
  
*~ You don't need me to be there you know. You can handle it yourself. ~*  
  
*~ I WANT you to be there. Please ~*  
  
"Well, it's a date then!" Edward grinned.  
  
"What's a date?" Brennan's voice cut in. He looked at the rest of the smiling people in the room and perversely he was annoyed. He glared at the sight of Emma in Jesse's arms. He barely resisted the temptation of yanking her away. *~ How dare he hold her like that? If he doesn't let her go now I'm going to fry him. ~* Brennan could feel his body respond and his power build up. The thought that it was Jesse in front of him kept him in check - for now.  
  
Jesse quickly removed his arms from Emma's waist. He didn't know why Brennan was staring at him, but it made him uneasy. VERY uneasy. Brennan in such a mood was dangerous. He took a step away from Emma, noting that Brennan seemed to cool as he left the young woman's side. *~ Interesting. ~*  
  
"So what's going on? What's a date?" Brennan repeated his question, running his fingers through his hair.  
  
Emma silently watched him, fascinated by the motion of his fingers. He breathing became slightly constricted when he suddenly looked up - straight at her. *~ Don't Brennan. ~*  
  
"Emma asked me to go out with her." Edward answered, coming up behind Emma.  
  
Brennan's eyes narrowed as anger flooded him. He took a step towards Edward, fury clearly written on his face. *~ GET AWAY FROM HER. ~*  
  
Emma blanched at Brennan's anger and instinctively took a step back only to bump against an unmoving Edward. He lightly held on to Emma, his hands lightly caressing Emma's arms.  
  
Brennan watched those hands caress Emma . . . his Emma. He almost felt sick when he saw Emma lean into Edward.  
  
Edward's voice coldly cut through Brennan's rage. *~No, not your Emma. Never YOUR Emma. Remember. You denied her. You have no claim on her. Now, STOP frightening her."  
  
Brennan sucked his breath in. Edward has more than effectively cooled him off. He looked at Emma and noticed that she was trembling slightly. He looked at her, he become aware of the unshed tears in her eyes. At that moment, Brennan would have given anything to be able to take her in his arms.  
  
But he couldn't do that. He had to keep away from her. All he managed to do was hurt her. He was scum; he had hurt and frightened her. Brennan sat down at the kitchen table, and began eating. Anything to distract himself.  
  
Shalimar and Jesse both looked at Brennan, wondering what do to next. The anger, which has seemed so unstoppable a minute ago, was completely gone - leaving . . . leaving nothing.  
  
"So, do you want to come out with us? Dinner and maybe then clubbing after that?" Shalimar quietly asked the elemental. He looked at her and nodded without saying a word. She smiled, forcing herself to be satisfied with that response. She did not say anything about the void she saw in his eyes.  
  
The shinny, happy mood was broken. Shalimar turned back to her breakfast, "What's good about the morning anyway?" This time, her words carried a completely different meaning. 


	16. Chapter 16

Okay, I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to have this up before I got Brennan into a serious conversation. Serious conversations are difficult to write, especially when you have papers to do as well. :P  
  
Tell me what you think. I could change it if this sounds to contrived.  
  
So HOW do you post a review?  
  
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Brennan didn't hear the tentative knocking on his door the first time. He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of Edward holding Emma. *~ And why shouldn't he hold her? He has brought more happiness to her than I ever have, . . . or ever will! ~* He kept repeating this to himself, trying desperately to convince himself. He should feel happy for his friend. His friend, only his friend . . . . *~ Emma. ~*  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to push the anger out of his mind. He knew that it was irrational and it was corroding him - eating him from the inside. It was twisting him, forcing him to become something hateful. He still remembered Jesse's look as he stepped away from Emma. It had been almost - frightened. Somehow, unknowingly, he had managed to frighten the people he cared for more than himself. *~ No wonder Emma shrinks from me. No wonder she turns away from me. ~*  
  
*~ Emma . . . ~* Despite all his efforts, Brennan could not drive her face out of his mind. Every little feature of it, every little inflection was burned into his mind. All Brennan had to do was relax the tight control he kept over himself and she would flood his mind. All he had to do was relax and he would drown in her.  
  
Her smile . . . the curve of her mouth. The way she held her head. The line of her neck when she bent over something. Every little thing, everything . . . *~My Emma . . . mine . . . ~*  
  
Brennan shuddered; it would be so easy to let go. The thought was frightening and exciting at the same time. He didn't understand why he felt like this, and he knew he didn't like it. He was tired of this confusion, of this constant pain.  
  
When he was away from Emma it hurt, but being near her was no better. Every time she turned away from him, every time she turned to someone, anyone else a little piece of him died.  
  
*~ I hate it! I hate her! Why is she doing this to me?!! Why can't she leave me alone?!! ~*  
  
Brennan got up from the bed and walked to the sink. He looked in the mirror and he saw a stranger staring back at him. The stranger looked like Brennan but his eyes were haunting. They saw Emma turning away from them; they saw her turn to Edward; they saw her cry because of Brennan. They hated the man in the mirror.  
  
Brennan sighed, leaning his head on the cool glass. *~ What to do? ~*  
  
"BRENNAN! Are you all right?" Shalimar's voice cut across his dark thoughts. It finally registered to Brennan that someone was at the door and had been for a long time.  
  
He opened the door to see an irate Shalimar standing outside the door, hand on hips and obviously very angry.  
  
"Good of you to open the door." Brennan winced at her tone.  
  
"Now, tell me what is going on?!"  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about" Brennan backed away from the door, allowing Shalimar to enter his room.  
  
"ENOUGH Brennan. I might not be empathic or a genius like Adam, but give me some credit. Something is wrong, very wrong and I want to know what it is. What is wrong with you? What was that stunt in the kitchen all about?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." *~ Yes I do. No! There is no point in talking about it. No one can help . . . but . . . I am so confused. ~* Brennan rubbed his head, feeling a terrible headache coming on.  
  
Shalimar's face softened as she saw the helpless expression on Brennan's face. "Please tell me. Let me help you. Trust me." She placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Brennan looked at his friend. He needed to tell someone.  
  
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	17. Chapter 17

Hope you enjoy this. I wanted to have this up as soon as possible. I think my muse is finally back. Check the story out again soon. I should have Emma's POV very soon.  
  
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Shalimar soothingly guided Brennan and almost had to lower him onto it. He looked up at him and that dead look was back in eyes. *~ What I wouldn't give to remove it? What can I do Brennan? ~*  
  
"So, tell me."  
  
Brennan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, taking the time to try to calm his nervous heart. "I don't know . . ." Shalimar looked at Brennan in annoyance. *~ Please, not that merry-go-around again ~* She was going to tell Brennan off for lying to her - again, but she stopped.  
  
Brennan was telling the truth.  
  
He honestly didn't know what was wrong. The confusion and the pain were too raw to be faked.  
  
"Maybe we could start at the beginning. Maybe we could start with . . . Emma?" Brennan flinched, not violently, but it might as well have been a cry of pain - Shalimar's feral senses didn't miss anything.  
  
"Emma . . .? Start with her Brennan." Shalimar gently prodded.  
  
"I can't. I . . . She hates me." Shalimar blinked, *~ Where did THAT come from?! ~*  
  
"She hates me Shalimar. She hates me and it's all my fault."  
  
Shalimar shook her head; maybe she wasn't hearing this correctly.  
  
"Whoa, wait a minute Brennan. Slow down a little. She HATES you? And it's your fault? That's nonsense."  
  
Brennan shook his head. He knew it, no one understood. He looked away from Shalimar.  
  
"Don't turn away from me Brennan. Explain it to me. What do you mean?"  
  
"How much clearer can I be?! She hates me for all that I have done to her."  
  
"Okay, what have you done to her?"  
  
"I . . . I made her cry. I hurt her." Brennan's voice shook. "Every time I am near her I hurt her even more. It's something inside of me which does that to her, despite how much I try."  
  
Shalimar couldn't think of what to say. Brennan wasn't making much sense but she didn't want to interrupt him.  
  
"I am so angry all the time . . . at her . . . at myself . . . at Edward. At everyone Shalimar. Every time Emma turns to Edward, every time she shuts me out I get angry and lash out her. Instead of being happy that she had finally found someone, I hate it. The hate burns in me Shalimar. It burns me and everything I touch."  
  
Shalimar stared at Brennan, a cold feeling of dread settling into the pit of her stomach. *~ What have you done to yourself Brennan? ~*  
  
"Brennan . . . What can I say? I do know this, Emma does not hate you. You are one of her best friends." *~ If not more. ~*  
  
"Best friend . . .?! A friend who drives her into the arms of another man. A friend, who hurts her, frightens her. Friend?! . . ." Brennan laughed and Shalimar cringed at that bitter sound.  
  
"Brennan please, listen to me. She isn't frightened of you . . . she doesn't hate you . . .she loves you Brennan. She loves you, beyond anything, beyond herself."  
  
Brennan hissed in pain. "Shalimar please, I have seen the fear in her eyes. I have seen her turn away from me in pain. You know what that feels like Shalimar? Do you know what it feels like when I know that she cried because of me? It makes me hate myself, loathe myself. If I can't love what I have become that how can she?"  
  
Brennan jumped up from the couch and started pacing across the room. Shalimar watched him for a minute, not knowing what to say.  
  
Brennan came back and sat next to her. "Do you know what the worst part is Shal? I would give anything to make it all okay and I don't know how. I don't know how Shal! Make the pain stop Shal. Tell me what to do."  
  
Shalimar hugged Brennan; held him tight. After a moment, his arms came up to hold her tighter. She gently rocked him, willing him to take comfort in her presence. What should she say? *~ What can I say? He won't tell me what happened. Emma what have you done to this poor boy? ~*  
  
She was saved from answering by a knock at the door. Before she or Brennan could answer, Emma walked into the room.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	18. Chapter 18

Just one little point, if Brennan had confessed his love for Shalimar then there wouldn't have been much of a point. The way I see it, he's in love but doesn't want to be.  
  
PS. In case anyone is confused, the 1st part takes place a little earlier ;) Enjoy.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma watched Brennan virtually run out of the kitchen. She knew that she should be angry with him - she should be hurt his attitude but she couldn't bring herself to do that. All she knew was that she didn't like to see him in pain - and he was in pain. She could feel it, even now when he was not in the room. She felt it when Jesse held her and she felt it when Edward stroked her shoulders.  
  
She didn't understand why Brennan was so hurt and angry but she knew that it was somehow her fault. The intensity of his feelings frightened her, in some respects they were more frightening then her own. She could understand where her anger and hurt came from but despite her empathy, she couldn't figure out his - she couldn't work him out.  
  
She shook her head. *~ So much for my 'powers'. I can't even understand the man I love."  
  
*~ Maybe you're too close to see him objectively. ~*  
  
*~Edward, how can you be too close to someone? Anyway, isn't that a good thing when you are in love. ~*  
  
*~ Being in love doesn't mean being oblivious as well. It shouldn't blind you to realities of life. ~*  
  
*~ So you're telling me love shouldn't be blind? That's a first. ~*  
  
Edward smiled, *~ Being in love makes you more aware of the person you love, but don't let it overwhelm you. Don't let Brennan's anger infect you, try to understand it and then help him with it. ~*  
  
*~How?! It's sometimes difficult enough unravelling his thoughts from mine. How can I analyse them when I can't even separate them. ~*  
  
*~ If you try to classify and compartmentalize them then you have already lost the battle. ~* Edward silenced Emma's protest and continued.  
  
*~ I said that you shouldn't be overwhelmed. That mean's accepting and swimming with the tide. Let him into your mind. Bind him as closely as you would yourself. The more you hold back the harder it will be. ~*  
  
*~ I don't know whether I can do that. It's not fair on him; I can't pull him closer when he doesn't want it. He has his own life and . . . he does not love me. ~*  
  
*~ Are you so sure about that? ~*  
  
Emma's head jerked up to look at Edward, her eyes widening.  
  
*~Yes. ~* Emma's voice was sad and defeated as she continued *~ Yes, he doesn't love me. At least, . . .. not the way I love him. Not the way I yearn for him to love me. ~*  
  
Edward was not so sure about that, but he didn't say anything. She was obviously not ready to deal with Brennan's emotions as well as hers. It was frightening enough to realise that you loved someone, but it was infinitely worse realising they loved you back - then you had something to lose.  
  
Despite all she said, Edward knew that Emma was finding it hard enough to fully accept that she loved Brennan. It was not a pleasant experience knowing that someone has managed to change you utterly - changed you so much that you started to take a backseat to him. Not necessarily an unpleasant experience - but one that left you vulnerable. He knew Emma well enough to know that she didn't like being vulnerable. But eventually she would have a make a decision, was Brennan more important or her fears? Edward was pretty confident which one she would choose. It was only a matter of time.  
  
*~ As you wish Emma. But I will say something . . . it is rare that a bond, such as yours with Brennan, is one-sided. Think about it. Think about why it is so easy for you to hurt him. Think about why it is so easy for him to read you. Think about it darling. ~*  
  
*~ I . . . he . . . he can't. ~*  
  
*~As you wish darling. But at the very least, you could try to understand. He is your friend even if you won't let him be your lover. ~*  
  
*~Lover? Let him? Hardly. ~*  
  
*~ You've come so far. You've admitted that you love him. You've overcome your fear of loving him. Now don't let your fear of being loved hold you back. Love him and let him love you back - as a friend if need be. ~*  
  
Edward leaned in to kiss Emma on the cheek.  
  
*~ Go to him. He needs you. ~*  
  
Emma nodded. Edward was right; Brennan needed her right now. She would be his friend; she would learn to be satisfied with that.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan almost leaped out of Shalimar's arms. For some reason he felt very guilty. Not that Emma had said anything but the way her eyes had widened for a second had made him feel like he had done something wrong.  
  
"I . . . I came to see if you were okay."  
  
"You did? I mean . . . yeah I am fine." Brennan smiled; she still cared for him despite all that he had done.  
  
"I can see that." Emma sounded a little cold even to herself. She inwardly winced at her tone of voice. This was not going well.  
  
"I . . . I think I should go now. You seem to be busy." Emma turned around to leave.  
  
"NO. Please, stay. You're not interrupting anything." Brennan had to consciously restraint himself from begging. He couldn't let Emma leave like this, something was wrong and he wanted to help.  
  
Shalimar watched as Emma and Brennan stared at each other. Well, Brennan stared at Emma; she was doing all she could to avoid his eyes - everything, except leave. It was as if something was physically holding her to that spot.  
  
Shalimar thought it was probably the way Brennan was looking at her. *~ Does he realise how desperately he looks at her? Does he understand the longing that floods his face when he looks at her? . . . Does he know that he is . . . IN LOVE? ~*  
  
Shalimar took a deep breath, which went unnoticed by the other two. Everything made sense to her now. Brennan was in love with Emma; his 'anger' was not anger at all but jealously. Shalimar shook his head, how could she have not realised it sooner. Brennan was jealous of Edward; even Jesse, if the morning was any indication. *~ Hell, he would probably ripped Jesse apart if he hadn't moved away from Emma.. ~*  
  
"I . . . think I should leave." Emma repeated, not trusting herself to look at Brennan as she said that. She should never have come. *~ How could I have been so stupid?! I was right after all. Brennan does not need me. He has Shalimar. Edward was wrong, so wrong. ~* Emma swallowed; loving Brennan and wanting the best for him didn't make it any easier seeing him in another woman's arms. *~ Why didn't Edward tell me that? ~*  
  
Brennan started to say something, anything to make her stay. Before he could a word out Emma continued, "I really should leave. I don't have much time to get ready. You guys are still coming. It's going to be so much fun. I can't wait for tonight. This is going to be a night to remember."  
  
Shalimar watched in amazement as Emma continued to babble. Behind that cheerful voice was such sadness; Shalimar wondered why she hadn't noticed it before? *~ She does love him. I wonder if she realises it or is she as blind as Brennan? ~*  
  
Emma stopped for a second to look at Shalimar. *~Yes, she knows that she is in love with him? But . . . ~*  
  
"So are you guys coming?" Emma continued, finally looking at Brennan. "You really should let Shalimar get ready. You will have her to yourself all of tonight anyway, a few minutes apart won't kill you."  
  
Shalimar cringed at Emma's smile; the younger woman was trying so hard to be appearing that her pain was all the more apparent. *~No, she doesn't know that Brennan is in love with her as well. GOD, both of them are so blind. ~*  
  
Emma tried to leave once again. "I . . . I am going now. I have to get ready. Edward will be waiting. Don't want to keep him waiting." With that, she fled from the room.  
  
Shalimar watched Brennan's face, fascinated as a myriad of emotions flitted across. There was longing and pain, and even anger. Emma probably shouldn't have mentioned Edward. Underlying everything else was love - despite all of Brennan's protestations to the contrary, he could keep the love out of his face.  
  
Shalimar watched Brennan. *~ I wonder why he hasn't killed Edward as yet. ~* She watched his fists unclench and then clench again. *~He might do that anyway soon enough. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	19. Chapter 19

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Shalimar lightly tapped Brennan on the shoulder causing him to jump. "You're in love with her." It wasn't a question but a flat statement.  
  
"No." His reply was as flat.  
  
"If you want to keep lying to yourself that is fine with me. But at least don't kill yourself over it."  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
"Why are you so afraid to love her?"  
  
Brennan looked at Shalimar, willing her to drop the subject.  
  
"I don't love her Shal. I have been in love before. This does not feel anything like love. I told Edward this, you don't hurt the people you love. And I hurt Emma; I hurt her today. You saw the way she ran out of my room. She couldn't even bare to by in the same room with me for 5 minutes. All she could think of was running back to Edward. Now she's in her room getting ready for HIM." Brennan almost spat out the last word.  
  
"If you're not in love, you're doing a very good impression of a love-sick fool. A desperately jealous, utterly in love - fool."  
  
Brennan glared at Shalimar; he didn't want to hear this. He couldn't hear this. He couldn't!  
  
"This is not love Shalimar. It's some sort of sickness. Love is not meant to be like this. It's not meant to cause all this pain and confusion."  
  
"But it is meant to cause yearning and desire and I see that in your face when you look at her."  
  
"Desire?! God Shalimar, I don't think of Emma like that. She's not . . ." Brennan stopped, how was he going to explain?  
  
"Not what Brennan? Not attractive? Not beautiful? You're actually telling me that you don't think Emma is beautiful?! How stupid do you think I am?"  
  
"No, I didn't mean it like that. Yes, she is beautiful . . ." Emma's face swam across Brennan's mind's eye. "She's angelic. She's the most innocent, most pure creature I have ever met in my life. She is . . . she is too good for me."  
  
"What kind of stupid statement is that?!" Shalimar had the desperate urge to knock some sense into Brennan's head - literally.  
  
"Emma's a living, breathing woman. Not some stupid statue that you stick on some pedestal and forcibly keep there."  
  
"I don't do that. I . . ."  
  
"You just refuse to admit that you love her. God Brennan, how blind can you be?"  
  
Brennan recoiled at the anger in Shalimar's voice. He just couldn't seem to do anything right. First, he had hurt Emma, and now he had made Shalimar mad at him.  
  
"Shalimar, please. It's not like that. What I feel for Emma is very different. It is . . . I have never felt anything like this before. If it were love, I would have known."  
  
"Yes, after all you are the experienced lady's man here. Obviously, you would recognize love. How could I have been so stupid?!" Shalimar shrugged her shoulders. "Just because you don't see Emma in the same light as all your other girlfriends is a CLEAR indication that you are not in love with her!"  
  
Shalimar by now had completely lost her temper. She was fed up with both her 'friends' circling around the truth as if it were a poisonous snake.  
  
"But you know something Brennan? Maybe, just maybe, what you had with ALL these other women was not love. Maybe, lets go out on a limb here, what you feel for Emma, is love. Have you considered that?" Shalimar emphasised her point by poking him in the chest - hard - causing him to retreat slightly.  
  
"Damn it Shalimar! Stop it." Brennan caught the offending finger in a tight grip. "I am going to repeat this for the last time. For whatever reason I have never thought of Emma as more than a friend. Hell, I am not even physically attracted to her. I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER."  
  
"Well, then Brennan, you are the biggest fool I have ever known." Shalimar effortlessly freed her hand from Brennan's grasp and stormed off, leaving a fuming Brennan alone in his room.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma violently ran the brush through the hair. She was going to have fun tonight, no matter what Brennan did. She would show him. She would show them all!  
  
Emma slammed the brush down on the dresser, wishing with all her might that it were Brennan so that she could break him into little pieces. *~How dare he be with Shalimar? ~*  
  
Emma walked to her closet and yanked the door open - almost off its hinges. She took a dress out, a lovely white flowery print. She looked at it *~ How dare he hold someone else in his arms? ~*  
  
She threw the dress on the bed, yanking something randomly from the closet. It was a satin green two-piece. *~ How dare he look at me like that? ~*  
  
That dress landed on the bed, only to be followed by three more. *~ How dare he make me feel like I am losing my mind?! ~*  
  
Emma dug into the back of her closet, and her hand closed over a dress she had not seen for a long time. It was a small, slip of a dress, more daring than the things she usually wore. *~ I am going to kill him. ~*  
  
Emma held the dress up to her body; it barely managed to come mid-thigh. The neckline was a daring V - not too revealing but enough to make a man keep looking. *~ I am going to make him suffer. ~*  
  
The back was a pattern of criss-cross ribbons, forming an intriguing pattern of flesh halfway across the back. The rest of the dress gently curved over the swell of her hips. Emma smiled, *~ I am going to kill him - slowly. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Shalimar stormed into her room, not caring if she had almost knocked Jesse on her way. She was so angry that she was almost spitting.  
  
How could Brennan be so blind? How could Emma not realise what was going on?  
  
Shalimar changed for the evening, wishing to God that she hadn't made this stupid suggestion in the first place. How could she not have noticed before?  
  
Shalimar sat down on her bed, remembering Brennan's face as he had looked at Emma. Shalimar would have given anything for someone to look at her like that. Shalimar shook her head.  
  
*~ Not in love with her! Not attracted to her! Hah! And I am a canine! Fool! ~*  
  
Shalimar knew that Brennan was in love with Emma not matter how much he denied it. No man could look at a woman with such hunger and not be in love with her. Brennan was a fool because he didn't realise what a precious thing he had. Shalimar sighed - again - that was all she seemed to be doing these days. Brennan was hell bent on denying everything - he couldn't even admit to the obvious need between him and Emma.  
  
*~ God Brennan, if you can't even admit that you are captivated by her, how will you ever accept the deeper . . . connection . . . link you two share. Most of us would kill to have a bond like you have with Emma. And all you can do it push her away. I never thought you would be such a coward. ~*  
  
Of course, Emma was no better. She did her fair share of pushing too, Shalimar was sure of that. Shalimar sighed, she was greatly tempted to take the two mutants together and bang their heads together.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Jesse was confused; first Brennan and now Shalimar. What was with everyone's temper? Brennan had almost fried him in the morning and now Shalimar had almost knocked him unconscious. If he was not careful, he was going to end up seriously injured.  
  
At least, Brennan he understood. Men desperately in love are bound to do stupid things, like threaten their best friends. It was all part and parcel of the insanity they called love. But Shalimar . . .? She had gone over the edge.  
  
No wonder, with all the tension in the air these days. He wondered, why someone as sensitive as Shalimar had not cracked before.  
  
Jesse sighed and went in to tell Adam that they were going out for the evening.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Edward was having a hard time stopping himself from laughing. Anymore of this comedy of errors and he was going to die laughing - that is if he didn't drown in his tears first.  
  
He exhaled, *~ I've got a psionic in love but not willing to accept. I've got an elemental with a short fuse, (whose going to kill me if I am not more careful around Emma). And now I have an irate feral. God help me. Let me please survive this night in one piece. ~*  
  
*~ Mentally as well as physically. ~*  
  
Edward sighed and continued trying to block out the Mutant X members. He could sense Jesse's confusion and Emma's towering rage. In her room, he felt Shalimar's loneliness and realisation that she couldn't make this problem disappear with a few quick punches.  
  
And probably most dangerous for him, he could feel Brennan's hate and denial. Edward reminded himself to be on his guard. The mood Brennan was in, Edward was likely to find himself as the main course tonight if he was not careful. Char grilled if not burned to a crisp.  
  
This was going to be a long night.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~ I am not in love with her. I am not in love with her. ~* Brennan kept chanting this to himself.  
  
He refused to think about what Shalimar has said; she didn't know what she was talking about. He had not survived as a thief for so long by being so unaware. He was not so stupid to let love sneak up on him. Shalimar was wrong, *~ She has to be. ~*  
  
Brennan remembered Emma's words. *~ "Edward will be waiting. Don't want to keep him waiting." ~* Edward.  
  
A small of electricity formed in Brennan's palm. *~ I am going to kill him. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
I must say this chapter was a very satisfying to write. Brennan finally got the dressing down he deserved, and I felt that it was only fair to let Shalimar have her moment of glory. She's quite good at being angry, no?  
  
Now, only if Brennan would listen to people. *Shrugs* Will have to try even harder next time;)  
  
Wait till you see what I have planned for the poor boy. *rubs hands in anticipation*  
  
Thank you for all your lovely reviews, but I am wondering if anyone had any criticisms of the plot/ writing style. Anything? If not, I am more than flattered.  
  
PS. I am still wondering about how to post reviews. PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE, anyone?  
  
(Author drowns in the indifferent silence) ;) 


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry for the last chapter, my muse seems to have disappeared again, or at least been buried under all the university work I have to do. Tell me what you think. I have just realised I can't do romance at all.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan paced in the Sanctuary living room (seating area?). He was all dressed up to go out, but his heart was just not in it. He kept thinking about the 'conversation' he had had with Shalimar. No matter how hard he tried, he kept thinking of what she had said.  
  
Brennan growled, he was going to break something if he didn't stop thinking about it . . . *~ Emma . . . NO. ~*  
  
*~ I am going to kill him, tear him into little pieces if he so much as looks at Emma. ~*  
  
Somehow, and Brennan didn't want to closely examine why, it was easier thinking about Edward than about Emma. It was easier thinking about Edward and Emma than about his relationship with her. Brennan was spoiling for a fight, and he was hoping that Edward would give it to him. He had been waiting for an opportunity to hit that bastard.  
  
"Where is everyone?" Emma's voice interrupted his murderous thoughts. Brennan whirled around and the words he had planned to use just died in his throat. In fact, all coherent thoughts just flew out his head.  
  
"So where is everyone?" Emma repeated. "Brennan, why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Wha? I guess they should be coming soon." Brennan continued to stare at Emma. This was not the Emma he was used to seeing; this woman in front of him was a stronger - a compelling, sensual stranger.  
  
Brennan could not take his eyes off Emma, she looked stunning in that black dress of hers. "New dress?" he asked as his eyes travelled slowly up her body.  
  
"Yes, well I've never worn it before. Do you like it?" Emma deliberately turned around - oh so slowly, to let Brennan get a good look at the dress.  
  
Brennan's jaw dropped open and he was having trouble breathing. He swallowed; finding it very difficult to tear his eyes of the enticing amount of flesh he could see before him. His fingers literally itched to touch Emma. He wondered if her skin was as soft as it looked.  
  
He wanted to run his fingers down her bare arms and across that fascinating pattern on her back. He wanted to run his mouth down her neck, right down to that enticing little shadow between her breasts.  
  
*~ Whoa, what's happening? ~* Brennan shook his head, desperately trying to clear it.  
  
Emma watched Brennan stare at her. He made her feel beautiful. She wanted to be closer to him, wanted him to be nearer to her. She took a small step forward and smiled up at him.  
  
Brennan's eyes darkened; did Emma understand how . . . desirable she looked right now? *~ She can't. She's too innocent. ~*  
  
Emma took another step forward, she was so close to him - too close. Brennan could smell her perfume now and it was making him feel dizzy. He closed his eyes, he had to make this stop somehow.  
  
Bad idea, very bad idea. He felt Emma's soft hand touch his forehead gently. "Are you all right Brennan? You seem very flushed right now." Her voice was low, concerned - seductive.  
  
"Yeah, I am fine." *~ But I won't be if you come any closer. ~* Brennan clenched his fists, if he was not careful, he was going to haul Emma into his arms . . . *~ and kiss her senseless. ~*  
  
"Are you sure?" Emma's voice became slightly husky. She had heard Brennan, loud and clear. She looked at him, captivated by the rise and fall of his chest. She could see his arm muscles strain under the tight control Brennan kept on them.  
  
Gently, and ever so leisurely, she ran her fingers over his arms. "Relax, Brennan. You're so tense. That can't be good for you." She used this opportunity to come even closer to him.  
  
Brennan eyes flew open; he was sure that he heard a teasing note in Emma's voice. He looked at her; completely shocked to see a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. *~ So she thinks this is funny does she? I am doing all I can to stop myself from scaring her and all she can do is laugh at me?! ~*  
  
Brennan watched mesmerised as Emma leaned in ever so slightly. He could fell her breath fan his hot face, her fingers gently traced the line of his jaw. Her eyes mocked him. *~ So you want to play do you? Well so be it. ~*  
  
Emma's eyes widened as she saw Brennan smile back at her. Actually, it was too fierce to be a smile. She instinctively took a step back; maybe she had pushed him too far. *~ I shouldn't have worn this dress. What was I thinking?! ~*  
  
"I think I will go look for the others." Emma hurriedly said, getting a bit nervous. *~What have I gotten myself into? ~*  
  
Brennan's expressions had become even more . . . hungry. His eyes raked her, over her hips, her small waist. His eyes followed the swell of her breast and stopped at her soft mouth. They remained fixated on her mouth, watching as Emma struggled to breathe normally.  
  
Emma gulped, she was losing control of this game very quickly. She didn't like it, she was supposed to be in control here! She WAS in control here! Determinedly she turned around.  
  
"Not this time; I am not letting you run away from me again." Brennan's voice was a rough whisper. Before Emma could do or say anything, he had pulled her into his arms.  
  
Emma gasped as she felt his arms encircle her waist. She looked at him, and lost herself in his eyes. They seared her, melting her insides until she was unsure if she could stand unaided. She tried to step back and take the initiative once again.  
  
Brennan smirked, 'We're going to finish this Emma." Before she could say anything, think anything, he kissed her.  
  
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	21. Chapter 21

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Brennan shuddered at Emma's touch. She was toying with him. *~ So, you want to play do you? Well so be it. ~* Enough was enough; he could play as well as her. He smiled; he was going to enjoy this.  
  
Brennan watched as Emma lost control over the little act between them.  
  
"I think I will go look for the others."  
  
*~ She's definitely nervous ~* Brennan smirked; he liked the effect that he was having on her. It made him feel strong - in control, something that he had not felt for a long time around Emma.  
  
His eyes roamed across her body, enjoying what he saw. *~ What were you telling Shalimar about Emma, just this morning? ~* Brennan ignored that little voice inside as he continued to look at Emma. He wondered again, what it would be like to kiss her. *~ Would she taste as sweet in real life as she has in my dreams? . . . ~*  
  
He wanted Emma; he could no longer deny it to himself. The dam he had built to hold his innermost desires finally broke. The lies he had told inadvertently to Shalimar were finally exposed. He desired Emma - he had wanted her before, he wanted her now, . . . *~ forever . . . ~*.  
  
His eyes darkened as Emma tried to walk away from him. *~NO! ~*  
  
"Not this time; I am not letting you run away from me again."  
  
Brennan finally did what he should have done a long time ago - he stopped her from leaving him. He needed her to be with him; he couldn't let her just walk away. He wrapped his arms around her waist; *~ so small. ~*  
  
He never wanted to let go. His arms instinctively tightened as she tried to step away.  
  
"We're going to finish this Emma."  
  
And then he kissed her.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma instinctively stiffened as she felt Brennan's lips on hers. *~ This can't be happening. I am going to wake up and be alone again. Alone . . . empty. Can't let it happen. NO! ~*  
  
Emma ineffectually tried to step back, tried to turn her head. Her mind was screaming that this was going to lead nowhere and she could not let herself be hurt again. But her heart demanded that she stay. No matter how fleeting it was, Brennan desired her. She was so confused; she didn't know what to do.  
  
Brennan made the decision for her. His hand came up to gentle still her head; lightly cupping it to prevent her from escaping. She whimpered slightly as he increased pressure, his tongue slightly probing her lips, asking for, *~needing? ~* entry.  
  
Emma sighed, and gave in. She wanted this now; whatever happened later, she would handle it. *~ Later ~* She opened her mouth, inviting him in. Her hands snaked around his neck, bringing his mouth even closer.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Emma's mouth yielded to his gentle but insistent pressure. Brennan's mind screamed at him to control himself. He didn't want to scare Emma off; he had waited so long for this. He couldn't lose control now. All the lies, deception, pain was worth it as long as he had Emma in his arms. He would die if she pulled back now.  
  
*~ But damn it, she is making it so hard. ~*  
  
Emma pulled Brennan closer to her and he had not will left to resist her with. Her hands tangled in his hair, holding him to her. They slid down his neck and stroked his back. Brennan trembled, *~ You're driving me crazy. ~*  
  
*~ Good. ~*  
  
Brennan could feel Emma smile under his mouth.  
  
*~ I want you to be as crazy as I am. ~*  
  
Brennan groaned and gave up. He wanted this now; whatever happened later, he would handle it. *~ Later ~*  
  
He pulled Emma sharply against him, crushing her against her body, grinding against her. She gasped as she felt . . . him. He laughed softly and slowly pressed her against him, rocking her ever so gently. It was like a dance, like being intertwined, separate but not - it was like making love.  
  
Brennan's mouth travelled down her neck, until he found the pulse at the base of the throat. He rested his mouth there for a second, and then gently stroked it with his tongue. Emma angled her neck to allow him better access.  
  
*~ You're driving me crazy. ~* Emma had never felt like this before. Brennan filled her, his scent, his thoughts. His arms held her, exciting her but at the same time protecting her. She felt like she had come home.  
  
Brennan felt Emma's pulse increase to an even more erratic crescendo. He excited her - the thought filled him with awe. Since this whole mess had started, he had not felt so alive as he did holding her - kissing her. He felt like he had come home. He had found that missing part - it was this beautiful woman, Emma. *~My Emma. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~My Emma. ~*  
  
Emma gasped as she felt Brennan's thoughts ever so clearly. *~ His Emma? ~*  
  
Brennan looked up at Emma. His eyes burned with desire and Emma shuddered at their intensity. But she had to know . . . *~ Your Emma . . . ? ~*  
  
Brennan's arms tightened around her waist, their pressure was painful but Emma did not care. All she saw, could think of, was the desperation she saw in his eyes.  
  
He wanted her even Emma could see that. But did he love her? Was his desire enough? Could she be satisfied with less? SHOULD she be satisfied with less?  
  
*~ Do you love me? ~* Her blue eyes pleaded with him. She had to know.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Emma, please." Brennan could feel her slipping away and he didn't know what to do.  
  
*~ Do you love me? ~* Her question cut into the hunger, the desire that still burned between them. It cut right down to the core issue. Did he love her? *~ Does she? ~*  
  
Brennan could not deal with these questions. He did not want to think; he wanted to make love to Emma, right here and now. The questions could come later. Right now, he had to show her what he felt not talk about it.  
  
He bent down to kiss her again, but she turned her head away.  
  
His silence had answered her question. *~ He doesn't love me. ~* And Emma yearned for his love, like a dying man yearns for life. Without him, she might as well be dead.  
  
Suddenly, Emma felt cold, empty - like a child who had been shown a wonderful dream only to have it snatched again.  
  
She took a deep breath, steadying herself for a moment against Brennan's chest. Then she pushed him away with all her strength.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan let her go, confused and hurting. "Emma?"  
  
She looked at him and shook her head. "I . . . I think I should go find . . . go now." She swallowed again; she could not start crying in front of him. She would not do this to him. *~ I will not burden him with my foolish dreams. ~*  
  
"Leave . . .? But . . .?" Brennan took a step forward, determined to take her in his arms again, but she scuttled back. He knew he had hurt her, but he could not talk right now. Words would only confuse the issue. *~ Why doesn't she let me SHOW her how I feel? . . . What do I feel?~*  
  
"No, Brennan. Please . . . we . . . we cannot . . . I cannot." Emma stepped back once again, away from him. Where she belonged - at a distance. She shut down her mind; she could not let Brennan feel her pain. Edward had been right; such an intense bond DID work both ways.  
  
*~ Please don't do this do me. Don't leave me. ~* Brennan watched Emma, willing himself to stay still. He didn't want to make her run away.  
  
*~ I must. I can't give you what you want. ~* She could not sleep with him, no matter how much she wanted to. She knew that she would only want more from him, something he could not give her. Emma shook her head again - this was so much harder than she had imagined.  
  
Brennan gulped, *~She doesn't love me. I knew it . . . but why does it hurt so much. ~*  
  
Emma bit her lip, she should say something to make Brennan fell better but the words did not come. She looked at him, but the words died in her mouth. Brennan's eyes were fixed on her mouth, which was still swollen from his kisses. She lightly ran her tongue across it, hoping to calm herself down.  
  
(Wrong move!) Brennan's eyes darkened ever further and for a moment, he was tempted to yank her back despite her reluctance. He was tempted to kiss away her protest and make love to her until she could not think of anything but him. But he resisted, he would not do this to her. He could not - she meant too much to him. *~ Do I love her? ~*  
  
Emma came forward and lightly kissed his cheek. "I have to go." *~ Please forgive me. ~*  
  
* ~ Anything Emma. Anything . . .~* Brennan stroked her cheek with his palm. She leaned into it briefly and then turned around and fled from the room, her hand cupping her mouth, holding the sobs in. x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Did you people think I would end the story or I would make it so easy on B/E? *Wicked grin*  
  
Actually, I wanted to, but I just couldn't let them declare their undying love for each other just because they kissed. We have established they desire each other but I wanted to show that they mean so much more to each other than that. For each other, they would deny even themselves. I just didn't know whether that is clear from this chapter.  
  
Tell me what you think. I think the chapter doesn't make much sense. But I wanted to post something. Hope you liked it. 


	22. Chapter 22

I'M BACK!!! Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. Other than the fact that I had major writer's block my uni professors were not happy with me. Now that term has ended, or near about, I should be able to post more regularly.  
  
Any ideas on how I should end the story? AND when?  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"You look lovely tonight."  
  
"Emm?"  
  
"Emma, are you even listening to me?"  
  
"Oh, what . . . yes. Yes Edward. I am listening to you." Emma smiled at Edward and then turned back to her plate.  
  
"You've hardly touched the food." Edward observed quietly.  
  
Emma shook her head, "No, I am not feeling very hungry tonight. I am sorry." But that wasn't the truth and Emma knew it. She was hungry - for Brennan. It took all her will power to sit silently in front of him. All she wanted to do was let him make love to her, for a brief moment to surrender to her heart and body despite her head's warnings.  
  
For a moment, Emma allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to make love to Brennan. To be held by him, to fall asleep next to him . . . *~ to be loved by him.~*  
  
*~ Little one! What's wrong?! ~*  
  
Emma stiffened; her thoughts had betrayed her again. She couldn't deal with any questions right now, no matter how well meaning. She needed time to lick her wounds - time to recover - alone.*~Nothing Edward. I am just a little tired that's all. ~*  
  
*~ Something is wrong, I can feel it. You are broadcasting so loudly that every psionic within the city can probably feel it. ~*  
  
*~ I . . . I am sorry. ~*  
  
*~ Don't be sorry. Tell me what is wrong. ~*  
  
*~ I can't. Please. Maybe later? ~*  
  
*~ What did Brennan do to you? ~* Edward's voice was sad but knowing.  
  
Emma was quick to jump to his defence; she wouldn't let Edward blame Brennan for what was her fault. *~ Nothing. He's done nothing. ~*  
  
She quickly glanced over at the silent elemental, only to find him staring at her. She found herself unable to look away from him. Their gazes locked, and the rest of the team seemed to disappear.  
  
Edward watched the two young mutants stare at each other and sighed. *~ Why is life never simple? ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Jesse and Shalimar watched their two friends; watched as the other two continued to struggle against the pronounced tension between them. They watched as Emma and Brennan gave up and just stared at each other. The hopelessness mirrored in their eyes was painful to observe.  
  
Jesse raised an eyebrow and looked at Shalimar; maybe she knew what was going on? She shrugged at his unspoken question; how was she going to explain when she did not understand herself.  
  
Jesse got up from the table; "Shalimar would you come with me for a second, I think we should check in with Adam and see if everything is alright." Not very subtle but Emma and Brennan didn't even notice; so absorbed in each other were they.  
  
Edward smiled at Jesse; he understood the younger man's need to understand what was going on. He also understood that Jesse would turn to Shalimar before him; that's the way things were. Edward leaned back and waited, eventually they would have to come to him. Then, together, they could figure out something to help Brennan and Emma, *~ Maybe. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Okay Shalimar, explain what is going on?! What is wrong with Brennan and Emma?"  
  
"They are in love with each other. I thought that was painfully obvious." Shalimar's tone was dry and slightly exasperated. After hours of watching Brennan watch Emma, she was ready to snap at someone, something - anything. Right now, Jesse presented an attractive target.  
  
"But I thought . . . I thought you and Brennan . . . you two . . ." Jesse trailed off, not sure how to continue.  
  
"Jesse, you've seen the way Brennan looks at Emma. You would have to be blind not to have realised that he has deep feeling for her."  
  
'Yes, but . . . that doesn't mean . . ." Jesse took a deep breath, he had only realised Brennan's feeling for the telempath recently. *~ How long has Shalimar known? Is she all right with it. If he has done anything to hurt her . . . I'll . . .~*  
  
"How long have you known? After you two . . . ?"  
  
Shalimar cut him off, she knew what Jesse was trying to say. "Not long. But I've known something was wrong with Brennan for a while. Ever since Emma became ill, Brennan has been acting strangely. It just took me a while to realise that he was pining for Emma."  
  
"Are you alright?" Jesse's voice was sympathetic.  
  
"Why wouldn't I be?" Shalimar's voice was sharp.  
  
"Come on Shal, I know that there was something between you are Brennan. Please give me some credit."  
  
"Something . . . and nothing. He and I . . . he's never looked at me like that. I've known that what we had was not . . . was not . . . Oh Jesse." With that, Shalimar hurled herself into Jesse's arms.  
  
Jesse was a bit surprised but he held onto Shalimar tightly. She pressed herself closer to him.  
  
"I feel so alone. I was not in love with Brennan but . . . still." Shalimar's voice was barely above a whisper; Jesse had to strain to catch it.  
  
"I know, I know. You could hope before. Now, with Brennan and Emma . . . there's not even that."  
  
"I am not angry with them or anything, I've known something was happening for a while now. But it hurts me to see them. They don't realise how lucky they are. It makes me so angry and saddened to see them waste their time together." Shalimar got this out in a rush. Admitting her feeling, even to Jesse, was difficult for her.  
  
"Well then, what are we going to do about it?" Jesse asked with a ghost of a smile on his face.  
  
Shalimar smiled, the fire returning to her spirit. Jesse was right, they had to do something for their friends; otherwise, she was going to kill them. "We are going to talk to Edward."  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	23. Chapter 23

Okay people, I am back with a new chapter. I hope some of you are still interested in reading this fic. If any of you are please give me some ideas on how to end it. If I had some ideas to play with I could get down to writing the chapters and post a LOT more quickly.  
  
Thanks - and I am very sorry for the LONG delay.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Have they moved since we left?" Jesse wryly asked as he and Shalimar returned to their table.  
  
Edward shook his head; Emma and Brennan were still staring at each other.  
  
"Do you think they would mind if I ate their dinners?" Jesse joked.  
  
'Don't think so. Anyway, I don't think they would notice." Edward replied.  
  
"Well . . . it would be a shame to let all the food go to waste. Wonder why we bothered ordering for them?" Jesse carefully removed Brennan's plate from him while Shalimar did the same for Emma. Jesse's hand stilled as Brennan turned to look at Jesse.  
  
"Go ahead, someone might as well eat." Brennan spoke in a flat, lifeless voice. Jesse nodded, though the joke didn't seem so funny anymore.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~ Emma, please don't do this to me. ~*  
  
Brennan turned away from Jesse, concentrating entirely on the beautiful woman in front of him. He knew that she could hear him - she had to hear him. He had to make her listen to him; he needed to make everything all right. He could not lose Emma.  
  
*~ Emma . . . please . . . Let me make it up to you. ~*  
  
*~ Brennan . . . please leave me alone. ~* Emma cut in. She could not handle his anguish. It was as if someone was rubbing salt into a raw wound. The pain left her breathless.  
  
She would not allow him to pity her.  
  
Try as she might she could not shut him out - and in all honesty she did not want to. The pain reminds us that we are alive, wasn't that was Edward had said? Right now Emma needed to be reminded that she was alive.  
  
*~ Then let me do that for you . . . ~*  
  
Emma was not sure that Brennan even realised what he was saying to her - doing to her. She knew that he could 'hear' her and Emma right now would give anything to shut him out. She would give anything to hide.  
  
After an awkward dinner where nothing much was said, Mutant X and Edward trudged to a new club. No one was really in the mood but going home would have meant admitting defeat and that was one possibility worse than a little discomfort.  
  
Maybe.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
The new club they ended at was a more intimate place than the one they met Edward at. It was spacious with a large dance floor. However, there were many couches placed all over the place, where people could sit and enjoy the vibrancy around them.  
  
On one such couch the members of Mutant X sat, watching each other and not knowing what to do. Emma and Brennan, probably satiated from staring at each other, did all they could to avoid each other eyes. They didn't speak directly to the other; they were almost ignoring the other - however, neither would dance or move away - as if they were incapable of being together and as powerless when it came to being apart.  
  
"Come on guys why aren't you dancing? I thought that was the point of coming to a club?" Emma forced her voice to sound cheerful. She had to learn how to pretend to be happy sometime in her life, might as well start now for her friends.  
  
"We could say the same for you." Edward interjected. Emma looked at him.  
  
*Little one, do you want to talk to me about it? ~* Edward was concerned. Emma was blocking him out, she was hiding something but he didn't want to push her.  
  
*~ She has learnt so much since I met her. She is strong enough to block me out of her mind, keep what she is thinking from me. ~* Edward smiled ironically. *~ She had to pick today to prove her independence. Life is never simple. ~*  
  
"Well, I for one am going to take Emma's advice. Come on Edward I think it's about time I show you how to dance." Shalimar dragged a very startled Edward out to the dance floor - after throwing Jesse a significant look.  
  
Jesse waited - about 2 seconds later, he announced that he was going to the bar to get a drink. It was doubtful that Emma and Brennan even noticed, so lost were they in their own thoughts.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Shalimar dragged Edward to a secluded part of the club, with Jesse two steps behind her.  
  
"Okay we can speak here. The music is not so loud here." Shalimar determinedly ignored all the couples that were making out around her.  
  
"Does this mean I am not going to get a dance lesson?" Edward grinned cheekily, he was tempted to pout but he was sure Shalimar would deck him. *~ These people are much too violent. ~*  
  
"No."  
  
Edward pretended to be disappointed at the abrupt answer, but he knew why Shalimar had dragged him away from Emma. He waited until Jesse joined him and asked the two younger people, "So what can I do for you?"  
  
"We need your help." Shalimar stated flatly.  
  
Edward blinked; he hadn't expected her to be so forthright. *~ I think I might die of shock. Shalimar asking for help. Wonder if I can tease her about it. ~* Watching her face, Edward prudently decided that teasing was probably not a good idea.  
  
"With?" Edward knew exactly what they wanted but decided to draw out the conversation - hoping to use the time to come up with a solution, any solution. Playing cupid was not one of his specialities.  
  
"With Brennan and Emma. We want you to make them see their love for each other." Shalimar cut through the games and threw down the gauntlet. If Edward truly cared about Emma he would do all he could to help the psionic.  
  
"That's all? And here I was thinking that you wanted me to do something difficult. Anything else I can do for you? Maybe bring down the stars and moon as well?" Edward rolled his eyes. *~ Make Emma and Brennan see . . . What do they think I am - a miracle worker? ~*  
  
"So you won't help." Shalimar's voice became ominously flat.  
  
"I didn't say that, of course I will help. I would do anything to make Emma. But I don't think it is going to be easy. Those two are very stubborn." Edward massaged his temple - this was going to be a long night.  
  
"Besides, there are other issues to consider." Edward fell silent, how was he going to explain how important Brennan was to Emma' mind.  
  
"Did Brennan cause Emma's breakdown?" The question was gentle and deadly serious.  
  
Shalimar looked at Jesse in disbelief. *~ How could he think that of his best friend? ~*  
  
"It's not that simple. He didn't CAUSE her breakdown, though he did have a big part to play in it."  
  
Shalimar whirled around to look at Edward. *~ What the hell? ~*  
  
"As you know, psionics are vulnerable to mental attacks and telempathic or telepathic psionics especially so. I don't know if you've ever thought about it, but everyday, every waking moment for Emma is a battle - a battle for sanity. She is constantly buffeted with emotions, hers, yours, everyone's.  
  
The closer Emma gets to someone, emotionally, physically the more sensitive she becomes to his or her emotions. At this stage, I don't even think she really has to be trying to pick up something from you people. Now, this can be both rewarding and painful."  
  
Shalimar made to interrupt but Jesse stopped her. He thought he could see what Edward was getting at, but he wanted to make sure.  
  
"Being close to someone means that your mind becomes closely linked to theirs. On the one hand, this means that your defences against this person are negligible at best but it also means that they can block others out. It is as if their minds drown out all others.  
  
This bond is generally the strongest between two people in love - Emma and Brennan are no exception. Their minds are very tightly bound like their hearts. Brennan can overwhelm Emma but he is also her strongest defence against the pain of the outside world.  
  
Emma needs Brennan - to love her, to protect her. And considering how closely they have 'bonded', he needs her for his own sanity as well."  
  
"Then what is the problem?" Shalimar pursed her lip, this was getting nowhere.  
  
"The problem is that neither are willing to admit how much they need each other. With normal lovers such denial would be painful but with Emma and Brennan it could be life threatening. Emma already tried to sever her link with Brennan and almost lost her mind. She failed and that is why she is still sitting here today. Despite the fact that Brennan does not believe that he loves her, despite the fact that he is unaware of the mind-meld - some part of him refused to give her up.  
  
But I don't know how long they can keep this up. Emma is hurting and trying to shut him out. I hope she does not do something foolish, but if she tries to cut Brennan off again I might not be able to save her again this time." Edward stopped, he didn't even want to think of such a possibility let alone talk about it.  
  
Jesse and Shalimar's faces had drained of colour, they looked at each other - getting Brennan, and Emma together took on a whole new urgency.  
  
"But she wouldn't do it again, she must have learnt from her mistakes - didn't she?" Jesse's question was almost desperate.  
  
"Yes, I do believe she had learnt how important Brennan is to her." Edward paused. 'But she does not know how important she is to him. She is convinced that he does not love her; she is convinced that maintaining the link would be 'unfair' to him. If she believed that breaking the link with Brennan would be good for him, I know she would do so. I don't think she has thought of trying - yet. But when it occurs to her, I don't think any amount of personal pain would stop her."  
  
"What would that do to Brennan?"  
  
"Besides breaking his heart? If I am correct about their bond, then losing Emma would probably fry his brain." Edward voice held no trace of uncertainty.  
  
"So what do we do?" Jesse asked, Shalimar was too choked up to talk.  
  
"I have no clue."  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	24. Chapter 24

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"What do mean YOU HAVE NO CLUE!!" Shalimar suddenly found her voice - and temper.  
  
"You give us this long speech about how dangerous the situation is for our friends. You convince us about how much Brennan and Emma need each other. You bloody well frighten us out of OUR minds - and NOW you tell us you have no clue!?!!!" Shalimar almost lunged at Edward but the thought that this man might be able to help restrained her - barely.  
  
"Look I don't know what to do. I've tried to speak to Emma, and even Brennan, with lamentably little success. Neither one will listen to me; in Brennan's case, he won't even acknowledge me. What else am I supposed to do?!!!"  
  
"Maybe you could make him jealous. That should convince him he has feelings for Emma. We saw how he reacted to Jesse's presence near Emma. If you paid some attention to her . . "  
  
"If I 'paid attention to her' as you so charmingly put it, Brennan would fry me faster than bacon. He very nearly turned Jesse into a walking light bulb and he is Brennan's best friends. I will NOT be so lucky. The only reason he puts up with me is because Emma's seems to want me around. However, if I showed any romantic interest in her he would kill me. And I am NOT joking."  
  
"Anyway, I would not do it to Emma or . . ." *~Marie . . . I can never pretend to love someone else. ~*  
  
"Okay, so it was a bad idea. But we have to come up with a plan." Shalimar started pacing around the two men, trying to think of something - anything.  
  
"You know, if this was a TV show - and a cheesy one at that - the bad guys would break in right about now and attack Brennan and Emma. Being in a life- threatening situation would finally lift the blinkers from their eyes. They would defeat the bad guys, not have a scratch on them, admit their undying love for each other and live happily ever after. At least till the nest episode." Edward ginned. *~ Now if only life was that simple. ~*  
  
"Well, THIS isn't a TV show - thank god for that. Now keep quiet, I am trying to think." Shalimar snapped at Edward. *~HOW can the guy joke at a time like this? Though I must admit - it would solve our problems. Where is the Strand when you need it - useless mutants. ~*  
  
Edward happily complied and let Shalimar walk a hole in the carpet. Maybe it would help - at the very least, it would rub out the horrible yellow pattern on the carpet.  
  
"Maybe we are going about this the wrong way." Jesse thoughtfully commented, very effectively stopping Shalimar from her pacing.  
  
"Instead of making them 'see' what is so obvious to each other, maybe all we have to do is make them confess it to us. The problem, as I see it is that they don't believe each other. Or they are too frightened to talk to each - thus the little dance around each other.  
  
All we have to do is get them to speak to us - and then WE can speak to them. They must be eager to speak about what they are going through." Jesse finished hopefully.  
  
"Maybe not, I tried to talk to Emma but she is hurting too much to speak right now." Edward quietly interjected.  
  
"Then I'll talk to her. She'll listen to me." Shalimar confidently asserted.  
  
"Shal wait. That might not be a good idea." Jesse hurriedly continued when Shalimar's expression became foreboding. "If I thought that there was something between you and Brennan then Emma . . ."  
  
Shalimar gulped, her eyes widening. Could she have inadvertently come between her friends? She looked at Edward, he would know. He nodded slightly.  
  
"But . . . I didn't . . .oh my god." Shalimar trembled slightly, looking at Edward, beseeching Edward to tell her she was wrong. Now that she thought about it, this whole mess had started on the day she and Brennan had . . .  
  
*~ This is all my fault; if I had not kissed him none of this would have happened. What have I done?! ~*  
  
"Shalimar, you couldn't have prevented this and neither did you cause this. Your 'relationship' with Brennan only brought a simmering problem to boil. It WOULD have happened sometime or the other." Edward sharply cut into her thoughts.  
  
Jesse lightly rubbed her arms, allowing her to lean into him, offering a few moments of comfort. It didn't matter what Edward said, or how true his words were, Shalimar would blame herself until she saw Brennan and Emma happy - together.  
  
"I think I should talk to Emma." Jesse said.  
  
Edward agreed, "I think that would be best. She might not want to go into a deep mental examination of her motives with me." Edward chuckled wryly, *~ And in the end, it is best if . . . she talks to family. ~* For a brief second, he felt a sharp pain because he knew that Emma would rather talk to Jesse than him. Then he put that thought out of his mind - what was important that Emma talk.  
  
"Okay what are you both waiting for?" Edward asked. Jesse and Shalimar just looked at him.  
  
"But Brennan . . . ?"  
  
'You don't think that I should go and speak to him. I might be brave but suicidal I am not." Edward threw up his hands in mock horror - but his eyes were twinkling. At least there was some humour to be found in this night.  
  
"So I repeat, what are you two waiting for?"  
  
Jesse and Shalimar smiled and went looking for the would-be lovers.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan and Emma sat uncomfortably on the couch - praying that someone would come back soon. Neither thought of moving to the empty chairs nearby.  
  
"Hey, you look bored, would you like to dance?" Emma looked up at the young stranger standing in front of her. He seemed nice, 20 something and for a second Emma seriously considered taking him up on his offer.  
  
"No she would not like to dance." Brennan's voice loudly cut into her thoughts.  
  
Emma spun around to face Brennan - her anger instantly igniting. *~ How dare he make my decisions for me?! ~*  
  
Her protests died in her throat - Brennan was not looking at her. His entire attention was on the poor guy in front of him - his eyes bore into the guy - flailing him for asking Emma to dance. The guy squirmed, obviously uncomfortable with the implicit threat in Brennan's stance.  
  
"Leave." Brennan's voice was low, harsh - and very dangerous. The guy needed no more encouragement - he ran off as fast as his legs would carry him.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that." Emma finally found her voice, on the one hand glad that she did not have to dance with a stranger but angry at Brennan's presumption.  
  
Brennan turned to look at her and she hissed at the anger in his eyes. Even more frightening was the desperation, which fuelled that anger.  
  
*~ I WILL NOT let another man have you. You are mine. ~*  
  
Brennan did not speak - he didn't need to, Emma heard him as clearly as if he had screamed.  
  
"It was only a dance." Emma quietly pointed out. But she did not consider any more offers - even for a moment.  
  
She could not do that to Brennan.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Okay I know that was a very dull chapter but I decided to post as fast as I am writing, otherwise if I will lose inspiration again. And I know the end is coming soon, so I am getting a bit restless. 


	25. Chapter 25

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Still not dancing, you guys are the worst couch potatoes I have ever seen. But enough is enough."  
  
Brennan and Emma looked up to see a smiling Jesse and Shalimar standing in front if them.  
  
"Come on Emma dance with me. No one else will pay any attention." Jesse bent forward to take Emma's hand. He comical pout made Emma smile and she nodded yes.  
  
Brennan almost flinched, but he could not do anything. *~ I will not stand in her way if that is what she wants. ~* Brennan kept repeating that to himself, clenching his jaw as a slow song came on. *~ What Emma wants . . . for Emma. ~*  
  
"So do you want to dance?" Shalimar sat down next to Brennan, unsure on how to get him to open up. He wasn't even looking at her, his eyes desperately tried to keep track of Emma and Jesse.  
  
"They dance quite well. They look cute together." Shalimar 'casually' commented.  
  
Brennan's head whirled around to face Shalimar.  
  
*~ That got his attention. ~*  
  
"This morning you were trying to convince me that Emma was in love with me and now you're pairing her off with Jesse!" Brennan almost spit the words out.  
  
"You are the one who was insistent that you didn't have feelings for Emma. It shouldn't matter to you who she is with. But it doesn't it?"  
  
Brennan remained silent; he was not going to get into a discussion with Shalimar.  
  
"It hurts you to see her dance with someone else. It kills you doesn't it?"  
  
Brennan ignored her, picking up the glass of water Emma had left on the table.  
  
"You want to be there with her, don't you?" Shalimar's voice was almost taunting.  
  
Brennan drank the remaining water, to disguise the lump that had formed in his throat. For a moment, his mouth lingered on the rim of the glass.  
  
"Can you taste her by drinking from the same glass?" Shalimar now openly mocked him, she had to get a rise from him.  
  
"Look at her, isn't she beautiful? Look how she moves; look at how the men around look at her. You must have been blind not to notice how desirable she is. I am sure any man would give his right arm to hold her like Jesse is. To hold her close to him, lightly rub his hand on her back, sway with her."  
  
Brennan's knuckles had turned had turned white around the glass.  
  
"In fact, I will make a bet with you. Any man would sell his soul to be able to kiss her, taste her, make love . . ."  
  
"Enough." Brennan slammed the glass down on the table, causing it to crack slightly.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Come on Emma relax. The music is not that bad and I haven't stepped on your toes." Jesse pleaded with the young woman in his arms.  
  
"Yet." Emma dryly commented causing Jesse to grin.  
  
"See, that's what I mean. Have fun, relax. Take pot shots at me."  
  
"Now would I do that to you?" Emma asked oh so sweetly.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Emma chuckled, this felt good. Jesse was right; she needed to calm down.  
  
As the music continued, Emma sighed and laid her head on Jesse's shoulder. She would allow herself this time. She closed her eyes and imagined she was dancing in Brennan's arms. Her body unwound slowly and swayed to the music.  
  
Jesse smiled knowing fully well whose arms Emma was thinking about at that point. It was a sad smile full of empathy for his friends, and the needless suffering they were putting themselves through  
  
"You love him don't you?" Jesse gently asked Emma.  
  
She raised her head to look into his soft, concerned eyes. He smiled at her, "Want to tell me about it?" He was not going to push Emma; he could see how tired and fragile she was at this point.  
  
The rested her head on his shoulder again and weakly nodded her head. She needed to tell someone and she knew that Jesse would understand. After all, he was family.  
  
"I love him so much and he doesn't feel the same way about me." Emma stated simply. It was that simple, wasn't it? At least she thought so, until she felt Jesse shake with laughter.  
  
"So you are going to laugh at me." Emma asked quietly. Jesse looked down to find that silent tears course down her cheeks.  
  
"Never. I just don't believe you when you say Brennan does not love you. He is crazy about you. Completely, hopelessly, in love with you."  
  
"Don't make fun of me. I can't take it Jesse."  
  
"Emma please believe me. Brennan loves you."  
  
"How do you know? He hasn't said anything to you has he."  
  
"No but . . ."  
  
"Then I am right."  
  
"No you're not. Haven't you seen the way Brennan looks at you? The way his eyes follow you when you enter the room? He gets the goofiest look on his face when you smile at him. I would laugh at him if I couldn't see the desperation on his face when you turn away from him."  
  
"I turn away from HIM?! Never, he is the one who rejects me. And why shouldn't he? I am not beautiful or . . ."  
  
"You are the most wonderful person. And trust me, Brennan thinks you are lovely. If he looked at my sister the way he looks at you, I would be tempted to smash his face in. In fact, I still might, he has been checking you out the whole evening. You can't tell me that Brennan has never shown his attraction to you?!"  
  
Emma instantly remembered the kiss - the way Brennan had devoured her mouth. The way his hands had roamed her back - hungry, desperate, lustful.  
  
Jesse chuckled as he saw Emma's cheeks colour. He guessed Brennan had shown his desire - and if Emma's blushing was anything to go by, very efficiently at that.  
  
"He loves you."  
  
"Then why doesn't he tell me?!!" Emma's confusion and pain forcibly struck Jesse. For a second he was tempted to beat Brennan's face. He settled for gently squeezing her.  
  
"Have you ever told him?" Jesse quietly asked.  
  
Emma just looked at him, her eyes wide in her pale face.  
  
"Isn't it possible that he is as frightened as you are? Isn't it possible that he is as confused about your feeling as you are about his? How is he to know that his feelings will be welcomed when you avoid him?"  
  
Emma swallowed, "It was so hard to be around him and not be loved by him. I couldn't do that. It would have killed me."  
  
"I know, but now you are better. Edward explained what happened with you. But you are stronger now than ever. Please don't let your insecurities and fear drive Brennan away. He needs you, without you, he is so alone. Don't abandon him Emma."  
  
*~ Love him as he needs to be loved - as you need to love him. ~*  
  
Emma smiled through the tears. Jesse was right; she could not let Brennan go without being honest with him. She owed that to herself and to herself. *~ And if he doesn't want me after that . . .~*  
  
Emma swayed as the thought flashed through her mind; her face becoming almost white.  
  
Jesse held her tightly, recognising the fear on her face.  
  
"He loves you. Give him a chance."  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"What is 'enough' Brennan? Did I say anything wrong?" Shalimar questioned, her tone challenging.  
  
"Never speak of Emma with another man. I won't stand for it, I . . ."  
  
"You WHAT Brennan? Why does it hurt you to think of Emma with another guy? Why does it make you so angry?" Shalimar leaned forward, she had almost broken through Brennan's denial.  
  
Brennan sighed, he couldn't do this any longer. He couldn't keep fighting Shalimar, himself - the truth.  
  
"Because I love her."  
  
*~Because I love her. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
*~ Because I love her.~*  
  
Emma whirled around in Jesse's eyes. Brennan's voice was so clear, it cut through all her own thoughts. The defeat and fear were so clear that Emma flinched.  
  
*~ Because I love her and she doesn't love me. ~*  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
hehehe *Evil grin* . . . we're reaching the end very soon. So what did you guys think? Too melodramatic the chapter? Wrote this late at night so have no idea how it reads. 


	26. Chapter 26

x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
For a moment Jesse thought that Emma was going to faint in his arms, she had become so pale.  
  
"Emma what's wrong?"  
  
She seemed oblivious to what Jesse was saying; her eyes were focused on something else. Her cheeks were wet with her tears.  
  
Jesse shook her lightly, he was getting worried. "Emma?"  
  
She looked at him, and his concern for her finally sunk in. She took a deep breath and smiled. Jesse started at the sheer wonder in that smile. He could only stare at Emma; she was so beautiful, despite the tears and the smudges on her cheeks. It was as if someone had switched on a light in the darkness of her soul.  
  
"He loves me." Emma's voice was full of wonder. Even now she could feel the words echoing in her head, drowning her - and for once she welcomed it. She wanted to sink and let them overwhelm her in delicious oblivion.  
  
Jesse continued to look at Emma. What was she talking about?  
  
"He loves me. Brennan loves me. And he thinks I don't love him." Emma spoke rapidly, needing to say the words - as if saying them out loud lent them more permanence.  
  
Jesse was not sure how Emma knew, but he figured that Emma must have 'heard' his emotions. He was glad - now everything would go back to normal.  
  
At least, that is what he thought until Emma threw herself in his arms and sobbed like the world was ending.  
  
"Hey hey, what's wrong? He loves you. Everything is fine now. Why are you crying?" Jesse was terrified now; he didn't think this was the normal reaction to a declaration of love.  
  
"He loves me. He is in so much pain Jesse. He thinks I abandoned him. He holds back because he is afraid of hurting me. He is so stupid, I love him so much." Emma sobbed into Jesse's chest as if it was the end of the world  
  
Jesse opened his mouth and closed it again. What was he supposed to say to that?  
  
"Well then, why don't you go and put him out of his misery?" A gentle, slightly wry, voice said. Emma looked up to see a highly amused Edward leaning on a pillar near them.  
  
"But, but . . ."  
  
"You love him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And he loves you. That is all you need to think about now. Now go to him, and everything will be alright."  
  
*~ Trust me. ~*  
  
Emma nodded, *~ Always. ~*  
  
And she walked to where Brennan was sitting.  
  
Jesse just looked at Edward, causing the older man to chuckle.  
  
"Don't worry, my reaction was much the same when Marie told me she loved me. I think it was a week before it finally sunk in. Till then, I walked about in a daze, constantly expecting someone to tell me I was dreaming. I think that was one of the most frightening times of my life."  
  
"Great, so now we are going to have both of them wondering about like idiots. Fantastic! When will this be over?!" Jesse grinned realising that things were never going be normal again.  
  
Edward grinned back, "Normalcy is highly over-rated."  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
"Because I love her."  
  
Shalimar blinked, not believing her own ears. Maybe she had imagined the words? She looked closely at Brennan, noting how his shoulder slumped and how dejected he looked. Only then did Shalimar fully comprehend how much this situation with Emma was hurting him. This proud, defiant man, looked like he had lost everything in the world. Shalimar's heart twisted in sympathy, she had to make Brennan see the rest of the truth as well.  
  
She leaned forward to gently clasp his shoulder, "Brennan? Are you okay?"  
  
"No, I don't think I will ever be okay." Brennan shifted to free himself from Shalimar's grasp. His voice was bitter and disgusted with himself.  
  
*~ Oh nice going Shal. You couldn't have asked him a more stupid question, could you? ~* Shalimar silently berated herself.  
  
"Brennan, listen to me please. Emma . . ."  
  
"Loves you more than you can ever imagine." Emma's voice interrupted Shalimar.  
  
Brennan's bent up snapped up at the sound of her voice. He stared at Emma, not believing what he had heard.  
  
Shalimar watched the two of them and decided that now was the perfect time to make herself scarce.  
  
Brennan slowly got up from the couch, his eyes never leaving Emma's face. He was too afraid to even blink - Emma might disappear and Brennan would be left with only his dreams.  
  
Emma stepped forward until they were almost touching.  
  
"What did you say?" Brennan desperately asked her.  
  
Emma smiled.  
  
"Please, say it again." Brennan begged her.  
  
Emma leaned in so close that her breath fanned Brennan's face. "I love you. I love you so much. I love you so much that there is nothing left in me that is not a part of you. I love you so much that it hurts. I love you."  
  
Brennan closed his eyes, he had to be dreaming - he had been dreaming of these words for so long that he was not sure what to do.  
  
"Brennan please, look at me." Emma tenderly touched his cheek. She had to hear him say the words or she would explode.  
  
Brennan eyes flew open at her touch. "All I want to do is look at you, touch you, hold you. Please tell me that you are not playing games with me."  
  
"Brennan, I would never . . ." Emma stopped, she recognised the fear in Brennan's eyes. How could she not, it was the same that lurked in her own face.  
  
She stepped even closer and resting her head on Brennan's chest. Instinctively his arms came up to enclose her - he couldn't do otherwise.  
  
"Trust me."  
  
With that, Emma let go of herself and dropped her walls. Brennan gasped as he felt Emma's love envelop him. He marvelled at the strength of this woman's feelings - she loved him.  
  
The bond between the two of them throbbed and pulsated, becoming stronger than ever. Emma could feel everything that Brennan felt - his confusion, his desire, his love. She snuggled deeper into his chest, she had waited for this for so long.  
  
Brennan smiled and held her even closer. He was never going to let her go now that he had found her. *~ You are mine. ~*  
  
Emma chuckled, *~Always. ~*  
  
Brennan let go of her slightly, to lift her chin so that she could look at him. "I love you Emma DeLauro. I didn't think I was even capable of such love but you taught me otherwise. You make me feel alive . . . you complete me."  
  
It was a declaration and a solemn vow and Emma had never heard anything sweeter. Happy tears coursed down her cheeks.  
  
Brennan took her face in his hands and brushed away the tears with his thumbs.  
  
"I must look like a fright." Emma weakly muttered. Brennan was looking at so intently that it was making her feel very shy.  
  
Brennan laughed - the first carefree sound Emma had heard in a very long time. "You are beautiful. You are perfect exactly the way you are."  
  
Emma blushed, if anyone else had said it Emma would have dismissed it as empty flattery but she could feel Brennan's desire. It frightened her and excited her all at the same time. Life was definitely going to be more interesting now.  
  
"I am going to kiss you." Brennan warned Emma.  
  
"You better, otherwise I will hurt you." Emma responded.  
  
That was all the encouragement Brennan needed. He brought her back into the circle of his arms and claimed her. Emma opened her mouth to welcome him back.  
  
It felt good, it felt right.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Shalimar sighed as she watched her two friends kiss. Her eyes shone with unshed tears.  
  
"Now why are YOU crying? Everything worked out." Jesse asked with a certain amount of gruffness.  
  
"They are so wonderful together. Isn't that the most beautiful sight you have ever seen." Shalimar breathed.  
  
"Actually, if you ask me it is quite a disgusting display. They should really learn to control themselves." Edward commented.  
  
Shalimar spun around and growled.  
  
"I think you are absolutely right, all this mushy stuff is making me ill." Jesse said with an absolutely straight face.  
  
Edward sagely nodded his head.  
  
The next second saw the two laughing men being chased by an irate feral.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x I think there is one more chapter to go and then the end. So what did you guys think? 


	27. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Emma didn't remember how or when she got back to Sanctuary, but waking up in Brennan's arms was all that mattered. The couch where they had ended up was decidedly uncomfortable and something was digging into Emma's back but she didn't care. She didn't even want to move in case this was all some wonderful dream. She remained absolutely still, barely even breathing and watched Brennan sleep.  
  
The way his chest rose and fell, the way his hair was slightly mussed up from sleep. But most beautiful was the expression of absolute contentment on his face. Emma gently caressed his cheek and he smiled, not completely awake but aware of Emma's presence.  
  
*~ I never thought I could be so happy. Edward was right, this feeling makes life worthwhile. I . . . he completes me. ~* Emma smiled.  
  
*~ I must tell Edward he was right. Where is he? I don't remember if he came home with us. . . but then I don't remember much from last night. ~* Emma giggled to herself.  
  
She got up from the couch, careful not to wake Brennan. He frowned as he missed the warmth from her body, but she soothed him back to sleep.  
  
*~ I wonder where Edward is? ~*  
  
Emma sent her thoughts out trying to ascertain if he was sleeping or not. She felt Shalimar and Jesse sleeping, completely exhausted from the emotional roller coaster they had been on recently. Adam was asleep in the lab, passed out after completing some experiment. But Emma couldn't feel Edward.  
  
*~ WHERE is he?!! ~*  
  
Emma was getting a little worried. She had gotten used to having him around to talk to and it was disconcerting when he wasn't there in plain sight. She walked towards the guest room - maybe Edward was just shielding his thoughts.  
  
She opened the door only to be greeted by an empty room. It was clean; all of Edward's stuff had been removed. Emma swallowed - Edward had left.  
  
She sat on the bed, for a moment unsure how to react. He had left without saying goodbye.  
  
It was then she noticed a letter addressed to her lying on the bed. She picked it up and held it in her hands. She really didn't want to read it - she didn't want to read any apologies - she wanted Edward back.  
  
Her hand slightly trembling she opened the letter and started to read.  
  
"Dear Emma,  
  
I know you will be angry with me for leaving but I didn't want to spoil your happiness with sappy goodbyes. It makes me so happy that you and Brennan have found your way to each other. I am only sorry I couldn't have stayed longer. The two of you radiate such love and warmth.  
  
But dearest, I had to leave. You have your life to live and I had to say goodbye to someone . . ."  
  
Emma swallowed; she could see Edward standing in front of a grave. She could feel his pain and she knew that some part of her was still connected to the physic.  
  
*~ Marie. ~* Edward bent down to gently trace to name on the headstone, tears coursing down his cheeks.  
  
Emma's breath caught, how could she have ignored his pain once she had found her happiness.  
  
"Because he wouldn't have wanted it otherwise." Strong arms came to enclose her - Brennan's arms.  
  
"He is in so much pain." Emma leaned into him taking strength from him.  
  
"And you can't change that. He needed to go away. Staying here would have been harder for him. Watching you everyday would only remind him of what he has lost." Brennan turned her so that she was facing him. He gently wiped the tears of her cheeks.  
  
"But I didn't even get to say goodbye. I never got to thank him . . I" Emma whimpered.  
  
*~ Didn't you? ~* Edward's voice sounded in her head and Emma gasped.  
  
*~ You never needed to thank me. You made me live again; you don't need to do anymore. ~*  
  
*~ But . . . your pain . . . ~*  
  
*~ The pain reminds us that we are alive. And I would rather have this pain that not remember her. Be happy little one. That is all I ask. ~*  
  
*~ Will I ever see you again? ~*  
  
*~ I don't know, but I will always be there for you. If you ever need me . . ~*  
  
*~ I'll call. ~*  
  
*~ I will miss you little one ~*  
  
*~ Always. ~*  
  
Emma smiled as Edward left her. She looked up into Brennan's face. He didn't say anything. When Emma wanted to talk about it, he would be there for her. Till then, he would wait. For her he would be patient.  
  
"Thank you." Emma leaned into him.  
  
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"  
  
Brennan grinned, "Not enough." And he kissed her.  
  
Everything would be all right. They were together, how could it not?  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
THE END!!!  
  
Hmmm, as much as I enjoyed writing that I have never taken so much pleasure in the simple words - the end. So, what did you guys think overall, too sappy? Too short, too long?  
  
Would you be interested in reading something else? I am working on another fic, but I think I will wait until I have written a few chapters. Thank you, to all of you who reviewed. You make writing worthwhile. 


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